The Queen of Hearts (An Anthony Bridgerton Story)

"My heart resides with another."

"Calm down Sarafina, if you do not stop breathing so heavily I will not be able to tie this corset" Charlotte said, putting her knee in my back in order to tighten the corset. Violet Bridgerton was on the other side of the room pacing.
"God, you look beautiful" Violet gushed, smiling and clapping her hands slightly. "Just breathe Darling the nerves will go away soon enough, as soon as you see Fredrick all will be well." She says.
"Yes I am sure" I said, I knew it would not. This marriage is not something I wished for. It is not something that would soothe me.
Violet smoothed out the sleeves of my wedding gown, looking in the mirror I cleared my throat and straightened my posture. My hands were shaking and I felt nauseated.
"Just breathe dear" Violet said again.
I nodded, turning my head to a knock at the door. Who was trying to see me? I forbade it this morning.
"It is Anthony Bridgerton Your Grace, shall I let him in?" Charlotte asks.
"Yes you may" I responded, folding my hands onto my lap as I sat down. Anthony stepped in, tipping his head to me.
"Mother, may I speak to Sarafina?" Anthony asks.
"Yes of course"
"Alone" He emphasized.
"Ah, yes" Violet said, stepping out of the room and shutting the door. I looked at Anthony, and cleared my throat.
"What is it you wish to speak to me about?" I asked, fiddling with the gloves in my lap, He opened his mouth and then closed it several times.
"Do not marry him" He said finally. I scoffed and lifted my head.
"What?" I asked incredulously. There is no possible way I could 'not marry him'.
"Do not marry him," He says, he grabs my hands and brings them to his lips. "Marry me, you do not love this man."
"I cannot," I said, shaking my head.
"I love you Sarafina, you can ignore me, try to deny my love. But I have loved you since
the moment you walked into the court as a debutant, since you complained of the men that wished to court you, calling them 'positively revolting or entirely bland' I love you" He said, he cleared his throat.
"You do love me, you cannot love me. That is what you told me" I said, my voice breaking. Why does he do this? Why must he rip me apart?
"I lied goddamnit!" He shouted. "I love you more than I love anything in this world I will always love you whether you across the country in Prussia or in America, I will love you until i take my last breath, no matter how soon or how far away it is"
I pressed my lips to his. "I love you Anthony, but I cannot call off this wedding" He pressed his forehead to mine, his chest heaved as he seemed to get as close as he could.
"Please, Sarafina" He says across my lips.
"It will ruin me Anthony" I said.
He looks at me, his eyes full of regret. "I only wish I had come to my senses sooner, perhaps then it would be at the altar instead of the prince"
"Perhaps" I choked, It hurt.
"Goodbye Sarafina, I will be in the pews with my family, I do hope you will save me a dance at your reception" Anthony said as he left.
"Goodbye Anthony" I said, brushing a tear from my eyes.

Violet grabbed my arm and hooked it with hers as we walked down the aisle. Why was the aisle so long? My breaths came out in short stuttering gasps. Frederick stood at the end of the aisle, right in front of the bishop. He smiled at me, that made me feel all the more sick.
As the aisle ended I stood in front of Fredrick. He grabbed my hands. "You look beautiful Sarafina" He said, the slight dash of his accent truly coming out as he said my name.
"Thank you" I choke out.
The bishop begins the ceremony, I stare at Fredrick, his eyes are fixated on me and he begins to smile. God I wish I could stop this, that I could tell Fredrick the truth.
"Sarafina?" Frederick says. "Sarafina, are you quite alright?"
I felt bile rising in my throat, my chest nearly exploded with the pain. "I . . . I cannot do this" I said, I pulled my hands away from Fredrick. I ripped my veil off and placed it on the ground. It was strangling me. I coughed, I pulled at my corset as I walked back down the aisle. Tears streamed down my face as I pulled at it. I couldn't get it off.
I sobbed as I staggered down onto the couch. "Charlotte will you please" I sobbed. "I cannot breath"
"Yes your grace," She said hastily, quickly unlacing my corset.
"What is wrong my dear?" Violet asked, rushing to sit beside me. I pulled my gloves off and wiped more tears from my face.
"I do not love him" I sobbed. She pulled me into her chest and just held me there, wiping my tears and whispering to me.
"What has happened?" Fredrick asked as he ran into the room. "What is wrong dearest?"
"I cannot do this" I said, choking on a breath. "I cannot marry you"
"Why? What has happened between us?" He asks.
"My heart resides with another." I sobbed. "I cannot do that to you, you deserve someone who will give their unwavering love. And I am not that person, I cannot be that person"
"Oh," He said. He stood up and smoothed out his collar. "Then I will call of the wedding, I will leave at once"
"I am sorry Fredrick" I sobbed, I shook my head and looked at Violet.
"Goodbye Lady Hampton, I appreciate your honesty, I just wished it had been sooner" He said, walking out of the room.
I laid my face in my hands and sobbed. Charlotte rested her head on my shoulder and hugged me. "I am sorry"
"Do not apologize," Violet said. "A match for love is the best thing anyone could ask for, you did what you needed for your own sake"