Noah's Winter

Chapter Twenty Nine

As I began to doze off Noah picked me up, bride style, and carried me to my room. He lied me down on my bed, and pulled the white downy quilt over me, and swiftly pecked me on the cheek. For some odd reason panic began to bubble up in my chest and I grasped Noah's tan hand in mine stopping him from leaving. His piercing eyes stared into mine in questioning.

 My voice came out in no more than a hushed whisper, "I-I don't want you to leave." 

He smiled gently at me, showing me a nice row of pearly whites, "Okay babe." Those two words sent my heart into frenzy. He lied down next to me, pulling the covers over him as well. I skimmed my fingertips across his soft cheek, he winced, and I quickly pulled my hand away to my chest. 

"Winter, you're freezing!" I laughed, though it sounded more like a cough. He grasped my hands in his strong ones, to warm them.

 "Maybe I should warm your lips also." He commented with a special glint in his eye. I'd never understand what that boy saw in me, but when he did look at me it was as if I was the only girl he ever saw, the only thing he lived for - and I was taking it away, without even a fight. Guilt filled my entire body and I wanted so much to stay with him forever, to never leave his side. He put his soft warm lips to my tear streaked cheek; I hadn't even realized I was tearing up. His lips made their way to mine. This kiss grew urgent, full of need, for each other. I gave him access, and his tongue explored every inch of my mouth. His hand cupped my cheek affectionately and I put my hand on his, this touch seemed to send sparks flying through my entire being. Soon, too soon, we pulled away gasping for air, and I opened my gray eyes to see his violet ones full of remorse. 

"Noah, what's wrong?" I asked very startled. Had I kissed him wrong? Did he finally realize he didn't love me and wanted to break up? My labored breaths became rapid as I thought of him leaving my side.

Noah's P.O.V

"Noah, what's wrong?" Winter asked, looking pained. I mentally slapped myself for making her sad, that is the last thing I wanted her to feel, in her last...days of life. I hated knowing she wouldn't ever be on this earth again in only a few short weeks. I was at a loss of words when it came to how I felt about Winter. She was the only thing that kept me here; she gave me the strength to survive the cancer. I loved the way her beautiful smile could brighten a whole crowd of people and that even if she didn't like someone you could never tell, because she had a heart that cared for everyone no matter their ways. Her startling gray eyes that when you looked into them it was hard to pull your gaze away, because it was as if you were in another world...a wonderful carefree summer day. Her laugh, in which reminded me of choir bells, singing on a white vale occasion, and her humorous personality...so forgiving and loving. There was no one else in this world I would ever want to spend my life with. She was 'the one' and I never wanted to let her go. My heart ached when I thought about her; how she was being taken away from me...I couldn't imagine my life without her. At that moment I decided it; I wouldn't live after she passed on, I'd end mine to be with the love of my life, the only thing keeping me here, for eternity.

"I'm just thinking is all." 

"About the kiss? Noah if I'm that bad I can work on it. Just don't do anything rash okay?" I fell into a fit of laughter but sobered up very quickly when I saw her expression turn even sadder.

 "No, Winter, you are a wonderful kisser...believe me. If anyone needs practice it's me." I said with a chuckle. 

She raised her eyebrows at me, "Then what Noah?"

 I sighed, "I just can't imagine...my life without you. I don't want it if it's not with you." 

Her eyes widened and filled with salty tears, "Noah, you have a whole life ahead of you. Don't ever say something like that, ever." 

A lump rose in my throat and my chest constricted, I hated myself with a passion when I caused her pain, "its true Winter. I refuse to be stuck on this damned earth without you." 

She gasped, "You better not be implying that you're going to kill yourself when I die!" I flinched when she said that, she sounded so sure that death was coming for her. She looked so mad yet terrified at the thought of me dying. 

"I want to be with you, forever." I said, gently touching her rosy cheek, I was glad she was finally getting some color again. 

Her eyebrows pulled together in a frown, "But what if killing yourself gets you sent somewhere else...not in heaven, I mean? Noah I promise to wait for you, wherever I go, but you have to promise me you won't harm yourself all because of me! The world would never be the same without you." She broke into a heart breaking sob and I pulled her into my arms securely. I didn't say anything, I couldn't promise her that because I knew, with every fiber in my being, that I would break that promise.