Noah's Winter

Chapter Nineteen

Noah's P.O.V    

I had been slowly making my way to winters room when I saw a flock of nurses and doctors running to her room. My heart sped up and my palms became sweaty, and I instantly felt like I could yack everywhere.  I ignored the stabbing pain in my weak legs as I willed them to run. I ran through the door of her room but stopped dead in my tracks when I heard a loud steady beep...the unforgivable beep that was so loud and ear piercing...the beep that meant Winter's heart stopped beeping and she was d- I stopped myself from thing the horrific word. I took the last dreadful five steps and entered the room completely. The doctors were doing everything they could to bring her back to...life. I looked at Winters family and pulled my gaze away immediately. Their heartbroken expressions staring at Winter's motionless body killed me. It felt like someone had kicked me in the repeatedly in the stomach. It felt like my air way was constricting and I fought with all the strength I had left in my body to not pass out.

My attention was drawn back to Winter when the steady beep broke into two, and slowly her heart beat came back. She was going to be okay, I thought. I walked over with shaky legs to her family and Willow pulled me in for a hug, sobbing. "She is going to be okay, tell me she will." She mumbled in to my shoulder. My throat suddenly seemed dry and I had the urge to start crying also.

 "She will be okay." I said with determination. She had to be. Willow pulled away and went in to her husband's arms, another sob building up. I turned and looked at the lifeless body of the girl I loved. The only sign of life was the labored breaths as her chest slowly rose and fell. Other than that she looked...dead. Her skin was pale, and I'm sure it was cold also, her skin clung tight over her bones, her eyes sunken deep with dark circles underneath, and her body was utterly still.

Anger built up inside me. I hated that she was the one sick, I hated that she might not make it and I hated cancer, I hated it so much that I saw red when I thought about it. And that scared the hell out of me. I had fallen deeply in love with the girl that would die, I knew I shouldn't get close to her, and I did. I wanted to slap myself hard for thinking that, she would make it. We both would, and we could experience life together, loving each other unconditionally. I silently cried as I stared at Winter.