It's Just A Dance

Chapter 16

                                                                                    ~~ Carson~~
    "Explain to me what the actual fuck that was?" Ansel stands next to me while my eyes are still glued to the door Ariana just walked out from
I shrug and shake my head, my hair clouding my vision as it sits in front of my face.

 I need a haircut desperately. I push it back and look at Ansel
     "I have no idea" and truly I don't. But now I'm starting to realize I never know for sure what's going on in Ariana's head. Some days I feel like I've figured her out, like I have her in my hand and I can juggle her around however I want to. But then she does something that throws me off my feet and I realize I don't have her in my hands at all, that's probably why I'm so intrigued by her.
It's the constant uncertainty, challenge, and tension we have that has me hooked, I've never had this before. I'm used to reading people, I know what they're going to do or say before they even know it. I see it in their eyes, the body language, the little details that everyone would miss but I don't, even with Hennessy who always had me in such an adrenaline rush I know what she'll do every time I see her. It's just one look and I know, while also knowing she'll always be there when I want her and she'll disappear when I need space.
Ariana is here when she wants to be, she lets me give her the right amount of whatever she wants when she wants and just as easily disappears and takes it all away from me.
      "She's hurting your ego isn't she?" Ansel smirks at me
I laugh but in my laugh, there's F A K E written all over it but Ansel doesn't seem to notice he's too fixated on me losing the bet "No one can hurt my ego, Ansel, believe me especially not her. The person able to hurt my ego hasn't been born yet, remember that"
My ego is hurt, how dare she leave with him and leave me standing here alone in front of everyone like an idiot after I sang the stupid love song to her in her ear as I lead her through the dance that she sucks at.
As far as Rubi has told me Ariana has the same experience with men as a thirteen-year-old girl, so why can't I control her like I know I can?
                                                                                ~~ Ariana~~
"So what was the important thing you had to tell me?" I ask him as I sit on his passenger seat with my arms crossed and my body turned to him "I sure hope is a good apology" I remark as a joke but a joke filled with a lot of truth behind it because I do deserve an apology.
     "An apology?" He asks, his eyebrows meeting his eyelashes "For what?"
He can't be serious ... can he?
      "You're kidding right?"
"What would I apologize for?"
I stay silent and I can feel my eyebrows reach my scalp as his reach his eyes
     "You're the one that ignores me" he shrugs and with that his face relaxes, because of course now the blame is on me "It's hard to get alone time with you nowadays" he looks at me once but eye contact is not our biggest friend right now so he looks out on the windshield. I follow his eyes, I don't want to seem desperate for one look and I need more time to know what to say. If I pretend to admire the weather outside I'll get the time to process what he said to me.
It's hard to get alone time with you nowadays
That's so far from the truth
"It's really not" I finally say, from the corner of my eye I still see him looking straight ahead so I do as well "You know what you said to me last time"
     "What did I say?"
"You're one of them" I simply say because even though his words have replayed in my head like a broken record I can't let him know how much they affected me. If I do then his words will be true and I'll be dammed if they are.
      "Are you not?" He asks me like the answer is so obvious he's offended I'm questioning it

I look at him in complete disbelief and although I know I don't need glasses I think I might because there is no way in hell he's giving me the same look back.
      "Are you actually serious?"
"I'm not the only one that sees it, everyone does. Carson and you" he sighs "You're-"
"Becoming one of them?" I finish before he does. Before he can twist the knife deeper inside my chest
He shakes his head but I know it's not because he's disagreeing with what I said "I just don't think Carson is a great company for you... I'm worried about how close he's getting to you and how you're reacting to all of it"
     "How I'm reacting to it?"
"Yeah, it's not the first time this has happened okay? He did it first with Kendra got her in his bed and then moved on to Maritza got her in his bed and now it seems to me like it's your turn and you're reacting the same way they did" He looks at me his black eyes almost lighter but the way his eyebrows fall I get worried "I know what you're probably thinking, why the fuck do I care? It's your life and trust me I respect whatever decision you make I'm just trying to look out for you"