It's Just A Dance

Chapter 17

                                                        ~~ Ariana ~~
So how did I agree to this? I don't know.
Is this a bad idea? Absolutely.
Am I freaking out but also super excited? Yes...
Is this digging my own grave? Pretty much.
Is this worth it? No
But will I-
Knock knock
And there he is. I mean, I assume it's him right? It's two. Exactly two... too good to be true because it's Carson and he doesn't know what punctuality means... but I hear a knock again and I have this feeling in my stomach like pudding that it is him.
I open the door and am once again greeted with red roses on my face, knowing this is Kayden I wrap my arms around him taking the roses with one arm which makes my cheek rest on his chest and when it does I get a good smell of his cologne I immediately let go.
     "Carson!" I'm startled and take a step back forgetting the little step outside my door and almost fall on my butt. As  cliche as it sounds and is, it works in his favor because he saves me and I'm now the one wrapped around his arms
"So that's all it takes?" He smiles looking down at me "A bouquet of roses and I have you right in my arms" I see him leaning in, his eyes become lighter as he looks down at me slowly scanning my face "If I had known this pretty thing I would've brought you roses a long time ago" his smile widens "Perhaps every day"

He's lying

This is his game

    "You're right on time" I urged out of his arms and this time was careful enough to take a step back without almost falling on my ass. I push the door open and let him in while he stands there for a second and shakes his head with a grin on his face before entering.
Yup. Roses are not going to do it for me.
"Sorry about that, I thought you were Kayden" I turn around to fill the base with water before putting the roses in but I don't miss how my smile irritated him.
I could see it in the way his jaw clenched. He wanted to take the roses from my hand and smash them on the floor, he was regretting his decision but with a blink of the eyes that fury in his eyes was gone. Replaced with a smile that told me I had to do more than that to make him jealous or maybe it told me he would never get jealous over me and I should stop trying.
The second option sounded more accurate.
"Were you expecting him?"
   "No"
"Then why would you confuse me with him right now?"
     "The roses"
He laughs but it's so dry it's hard to believe any of what I've said has humored him.                      "He brings you roses?" He laughs again but this time it's taunting, he's attempting to make fun of me because of course he's five years old. 

Which honestly comparing a sweet little five year old to Carson is such an insult to the five year old.
   "Why do you laugh?" He looks at me and waits for more before he adds fuel to the fire "Is it hard to believe he would give me roses?"
     "Pretty thing you need to think more highly of yourself seriously, that question and the constant doubt that you have on yourself truly makes me feel bad for you"
      "Kiss my ass Carson"
I seriously can't stand him. Why did I agree to this? Why is he in my apartment right now making fun of me like always. Like I don't have enough of this everyday I see him at prac-

His smile widens as he takes dangerous steps close to me. We're starting to practice right? This is what he came here for. So I don't move and wait for him to get behind me because that's how the dance starts, but he doesn't. He grabs me and turns me around, my stomach is on my bar stool and I know my ass is a few inches away from his face and I don't know what to do. This isn't something that happens in normal life. I'm sure 1 out of 100 women that this has ever happened to.
What the hell is happening right now!? But then all of a sudden I feel it, his lips on my ass kissing it and just as fast as he got me there it's over.
    "Are you fucking crazy!" I turn around and put my hand over where his lips just were five seconds ago
    "Crazy?" He smiles attempting to look innocent but those hazel eyes are filled with midnight thoughts "Pretty thing I was just following instructions" he raises his hands as if that proved his innocence
   "You know that's not what I meant" I try to sound as offended as I can but I know my sudden red cheeks aren't helping my case
He smirks "Mmmm maybe, but you wanted it and you enjoyed it" he continues pretending he can read my mind and knows exactly what I want. Unfortunately for me, he's not too far from the truth "You want more"
    "Not from you trust me," I say, and the way his eyes look at me so deeply like he's reading my mind and there he is again. In front of me, my neck hurts from looking up and I know this isn't going to end up well but I can't stop looking at him. Neither do I want to so I don't fight it.
    "Are you sure about that?" He whispers and suddenly his big hands cover my cheeks making my lips come closer making a pout or potentially begging him for a kiss. I want to blame his hands and the pressure on my cheeks but no. I want this he's just helping me show it.
This is just a game
Right. So let me play.
I'm not playing I know. I'm part of the game but not a gamer.
Let me play.
     "You're so pretty you know that right?" He whispers and I feel him getting closer. I'm locked in. That's the magic behind Carson, no matter what the fisherman always gets the fish he wants     "You know since the day we kissed" he takes a second, looks down on my lips and slowly goes back to my eyes.
Perhaps he did the infamous triangle, right eye, lips, left eye and she's hypnotized, it was working "I can't stop thinking about it" his finger goes to my bottom lip pulling it down and letting it go back into place, it takes everything in me to not just grab his face and kiss him but I want to hear what he has to say. I need to hear it. It's the only way I can excuse myself for having the feelings I'm having, for the way my veins burn with fire every time he touches me and the deep desire I have no matter where we're at, no matter knowing I mean absolutely nothing to him, "But I won't do it again unless you want me to. Unless it means more than a dare"
Unless it means more than a dare.
What more could it possibly be? What is he talking about? What part of the movie did I miss being so stuck in my head that I missed the dialogue?
    "What?"
"You know what"
I wish I did but I don't. How could I know what he means and if he's being honest when all he does is play with me?
    "I wish I did"
"I'm not what I make myself to be I can promise you that. You just have to let me show you" he says now his lips being inches away from mine. If he speaks again they might actually touch.
I want that. I want him. I want him to kiss me so I pull the trigger knowing the bullet will go right through me and say
   "Show me"
The second his lips touch mine my hands like magnets go to his hair pulling him closer to me, his hands on my waist pulling me closer to him. We can't get enough of each other. Breathing became optional as our lips collided with each other, I want this. I need this. His smell, as he kept kissing me and his hands pressed harder on my body with the adrenaline of the kiss, it felt like fireworks inside my heart were having a party while my brain had left the room but for me this was paradise. Everything was in slow motion, I felt him smiling through the kiss and I didn't have time to overthink whether it was a sweet smile or an evil smile celebrating he had me in his hands, I was so deep in. His lips were filled with a love potion and like that first time now proved I had become addicted to him.
If something had changed before everything has changed tonight.
    "What does this mean?" I finally say through the kiss and it's like I poured water on the fire. He pulls away completely and takes a step back
      "What do you mean?"
And this is the part where my brain slaps my heart out of the phase of Earth before Carson can
       "You can't come to my house and kiss me." I defend myself from any humiliation any other response could earn me
       "You want this. You asked me to do it"
        "Yeah, well clearly it was a mistake." I cross my arms and try to steady my breathing before I take a big crash on the ground
         "What do you want it to mean?" 
I shrug, faking it until I make it, and playing it cool it's the best option I have at the moment.
       "Nothing Carson don't worry I'm well aware this is just a dance. So dance, we have to practice the dance you know since I suck so much"
His eyes try to search for mine in a desperate attempt to pull me back in but I go to grab my phone from the counter and the speaker before the hazelnut can sweeten me up
         "Hurry we already wasted enough time in nonsense"
"It's not nonsense and you know it"
         "Then what is it?"
"Why do we have to put a name to it? That's so fucking unnecessary. A label doesn't make it important trust me. Just let it happen" He was almost frustrated, maybe even a little desperate when he grabbed my face once again "This," he said and the hazelnut started to work its magic
"Is legendary"
I grab his hands and look away "It's momentary" I say but even with that he doesn't let me go. He's determined and I don't quite understand why.
Where is he going with this? What's the ultimate game? What's the prize at the end quest that makes him so persistent? Or am I being paranoid and this is all real and with my doubt, I'm ruining it.
But even that I blame Carson. He truly has never given me a reason to believe his actions are genuine.
     "Where does this end? Carson seriously stop playing games with me this. Everything that happens between you and me is so unnecessary. I can't even look at Rubi without feeling guilty after everything I caused. I was supposed to be the-"
His lips crashed into mine tired of hearing all the truth that was coming out of my mouth and just like before the taste of his lips filled with pretty poison
        "If you ever believe something that I say it has to be this okay?" He says stopping the kiss. His eyes look for mine to stay with his and he doesn't speak again until I nod "Don't trust Rubi, she's not what it seems okay?"
         "But I- why would you- what?"
"Just trust me on this one okay?" He puts a piece of my hair behind my ear and his eyes go puppy mode, it's the sweetest thing I've ever seen "I've known her way before you so just do as I say"
This could either mean two things, he's protecting me or he's trying to isolate me from the people he knows will try to kick some sense into me about him and how stupid I am for indulging in this.
One makes more sense than the other. But remember when my brain left the room, came back to slap the heart but when Carson kissed me again he gave up and left ... again.
       "Okay" I nod and that earns me another great kiss that makes me forget how wrong this is
                                                                              ~~Carson~~
I'm going to break her heart. And the only fault she has in all of this is believing in me. Believing I have good intentions  I don't.
As I kiss her and her sweet peach scent fills my body I become eager for more. My hands are deeply pressed on her waist when her tongue slides in my mouth so perfectly I almost make a sound. I want her, I need her, all of her and I know if I make the move her clothes will be off in less than a minute and she'll be mine completely. The bet will be over and I could redeem my title and reputation with no problem.
The issue is I don't want to.
I want to pretend she's in control. I want her to make the move, call me a coward but if she makes the move then I'll feel less guilty of everything that will come after she makes the decision.
I physically and mentally can't do it to her without her wanting to. I know she wants to but for once and only in this circumstance I'm thankful for her overthinking because despite how into the kiss she is and the desire that runs through her veins with every taste of me her precious mind won't let her make the moves that her wild heart desires and that wins me time.
Time with her where I can pretend I'm coming here to help her with the dance and don't look like an idiot for wanting to spend time with her. 
Will this end badly?
I couldn't tell you, I'm all about games but when it comes to this one I don't know the rules or the ins and outs. I'm lost, and it's probable I'll lose because truthfully I don't ever like playing this game. The game of love.
Perhaps this isn't a game, right? But I owe a lot to Karma to think it'll let me have a stupid happily ever after, then again I have to remember what she is and what this is.
Just a dance and just a dare.
But dares like this never tasted this good. Ever. Trust me I would know.
As I kiss her and her hands are now slightly pulling my hair eager to get more of me I wish Kayden was here to stop this. He's the barrier, right?
He protects her and hates me. So where the hell is he when she needs him?
I honestly thought he'll be here, watching over her, ready to punch me at any moment but when my hands finally land on her pretty, round ass and give it a squeeze half of me thanks him and the other one wants to beat him up for not saving her
But does the princess need saving? or the beast that gives her more life in hours than all she's lived in her ... however old she is
She needs saving. The fact that I haven't taken the time to know how old she is proves I'm not worthy of her.
Not that she has much to give but what she has is not destined for someone like me.
Maybe Kayden.
Yet deep down I know I'm not going to let him have her.

That makes me incredibly selfish because I know where this is going to end.

I'm going to break her heart and the only thing she'll be guilty of is being nice, and believing there is some good in me

However, I have proof of her wanting this to be such a fairytale right?

What does this mean? she asked ... what does she mean by that?

The thing with Ariana is I don't know what she's thinking. When I think I have her she does something and I realize she's farther away from me than I could ever imagine, yet I push her away with words and somehow that is never enough for her to walk away from me. She always comes back.

Maybe she knows the risk this has and she's willing to take it.

For the experience
     "Carson stop" Her breathing is heavy against my lips, her mouth says something but her body does something else and goes back to kiss me, thankfully I'm a good listener and I stop the kiss just like she asked me to
Again I am an asshole but I let them make their choices.
Her pretty doe eyes go to my lips and like a vampire in the presence of blood she's fighting against her needs and desire vs what's right
I make the decision easy for her
    "I'll go"
She tucks in her lips between her teeth and looks away with her hands crossed, fighting the embarrassment now
"It's better trust me," I say trying to ... I don't know, reassure her? "Or you'll end up doing something you'll regret"
"Me or you?" Her question might come from a fragile insecure place inside of her heart but the tone of her voice was threatening
  "You" I smile "Trust me I would never regret anything with you" I grab her hands and make her hug me lifting her head slightly she looks into my eyes "Except for the part where I hurt you" I whisper and kiss her head before she can word vomit on me and ask me a million questions of what I mean "I'll see you at practice okay?"
I don't wait for her response and walk out the door.
As I get in my car I have one thing on my mind
And when the phone rings and he finally picks up I know what I'm going to do
"Ansel we need to talk"