A Nice Guy

19

I didn't fuck Angel. I couldn't. I showed her around town, like I said I would, and I even took her back to my place. But when it came down to it, when she started kissing my neck; attempting to seduce me, I just couldn't do it. She understood, as much as she could, anyways.

So I drop her off at Hazel's and wait in my car for a while. I guess I'm hoping she'll tell Hazel nothing happened between us, and Hazel will feel grateful for that. Grateful for me being loyal to her, even though I've got no obligation to be. I see her peak through the blinds. I smile. I knew she'd check to see if I'm still parked out here. She walks out to my car, climbs into the passenger seat, and slaps me across the face.

I freeze. I don't know what I did wrong. Immediately I start thinking of what I could've done to upset her so much. Was it the gesture of showing Angel around town, period? Bringing her to my place, even if we didn't end up fucking? Was it too personal? Was I too nice? My cheek starts to burn while I just stare at her, waiting for some sort of explanation, fucking something.

She starts crying. I want to bang my head against my fucking steering wheel. I can't stand it; the sound of her trying to hold back her tears, her sniffles, her eventual sobbing that she can't contain any longer. "What, Hazel? What happened?" I plead. I don't even care that she slapped me, and that I didn't deserve it.

She balls up her fists, clenches her teeth. "She told me, Alex. She told me you fucked her." Oh wow. Oh fuck. I didn't expect her sister to lie about what had happened. I don't even know what to say, I'm too confused. I just shake my head, denying it. I cover my face with my hands. I know she won't believe me over her own sister, though. I shouldn't have entertained her sister in the first place. I did this to myself.

She proceeds to tell me how awful of a person I am. She regurgitates everything she's ever claimed I've done to her, throwing it in my face once more. I can't do anything but shake my fucking head no, because what else can I do? Tell her I didn't do it, that her sister's lying? Fuck it. Let's see how that goes.

"Hazel, listen to me please. I didn't do anything with your sister. I swear on anything, everything, I didn't, I would never—"

She cuts me off, of course. Tells me to shut the fuck up. Then she says something that hits a nerve. "You only wanted me when I didn't want you. Once it was consensual, you lost interest and fucked my sister at the first opportunity."

I face her, taking in a deep breath. "Even if I did fuck your sister, which I didn't, what the fuck does it matter, Hazel? You're married. You've got a husband and a fucking vow to uphold. Me? I'm single, I can do whatever I want, whoever I want." We glare at each other.

"Well isn't that just the root of all of our problems. You thinking you can fuck whoever you want, right?" She stifles, "like you did to me, right?" She's holding in her tears again. "You still haven't been able to admit to it. You refuse to take accountability, and I just let you fuck me because I'm fucking sad, and maybe it's what I deserve. I deserve to be taken advantage of, and then to fall in love with the person who took advantage of me." I don't say anything. I mean, what is there to say? I feel like we've been over this before. She opens the door, says, "I fucking hate you, Alex," and slams it shut.

Of course I'm the bad guy in all of this. I feel like it always happens this way, you know? Nice guys constantly getting the shit end of the stick. I've done everything I could. I've apologized, probably hundreds of times by now, for 'taking advantage of her', or so she claims. We both know it was all consensual, though. Honestly, I'm surprised the affair hadn't happened sooner, what with her obviously thinking more of me than just a friend.

Who even knows how long she's kept these feelings hidden? Shit, I know I've secretly been holding in some feelings of my own, probably since the day we met. I've always had a crush on her, regardless of how much I told her I respected her marriage, regardless of us being best friends. Friends. Yeah, as if any guy would genuinely be content with that. No, if she gave me any indication that she had these feelings in the past, I would've ruined our friendship years ago.

Subconsciously, I think that's why I've been friends with her for so long. I knew it would eventually pay off. I just had to be patient. Play my part. That's what I need to do in this situation, too; be patient. So I drive home, lightly tapping my thumb against the steering wheel in silence.