L'AMOUR DE MA VIE - Billie Eilish

Chapter 18

Em's POV

The last couple of weeks had flown by and April was now right around the corner. I'd been busy. On the days when I wasn't working, I was hanging out with Billie. We often stayed in the comfort of my apartment, but, today, Billie was taking me out on a date.

Although reluctant at first, I finally agreed. I just didn't want to be seen around Billie yet. I wasn't embarrassed, I just wanted to keep our "relationship" private until we figured out our situation. We were obviously more than friends, but nothing had been made official yet. I really wanted to, though. The last few weeks had solidified the fact that I clearly wanted her to be my girlfriend, but I couldn't help but think of what had happened in the past. I desperately wanted to be able to let myself go and finally succumb to my heart's desires, but I couldn't help but be scared of the outcome of us going public again.

The first 6 months of our first relationship, we'd decided to keep things extremely private. Billie had been iffy about going public with not only her relationship, but also her sexuality. I respected her choice, wanting our love to blossom out of the public eye until we were sure that we were solid enough to navigate the negativity that would be thrown our way. I also completely understood that she needed time to come to terms with her sexuality. Keeping our relationship in the dark could've been an option for us now, but it had been extremely difficult the first time around and I didn't want to live through that again. The constant hiding, stress and paranoia of being seen kissing or holding hands had been enough to send us both into an overwhelming feeling of constant anxiety.

I shook the thoughts away as I finished applying the blush on my face. I had done my makeup in a natural way, having used mascara, concealer and some blush. My outfit consisted of a blue and white flowered sundress that came around to my mid-thigh. I paired the outfit with a simple pair of white heels. It was extremely simple, but that's what Billie had requested. We weren't doing anything too extra tonight, so she wanted me to be comfortable. I hummed to myself as I undid the 2 braids in my hair, making it flow down my back in tight waves.

I looked at my phone, noticing that Billie was going to be here any minute. I quickly took a picture in the mirror and sent it to Ky. She'd obviously insisted on seeing my outfit, wanting to see if I had done a good job.

I rushed to the door as I heard Billie knocking, making sure to grab my purse and keys. I opened the door to see the singer dressed in an oversized white button up paired with a black tie loosely hung around her neck. Her legs were covered by a pair of one of her typical black baggy pants. I trailed my eyes over her outfit until I was met with the sight of her pretty face.

"You look amazing," she breathed out, her eyes scanning me up and down.

"You don't look so bad yourself," I bowed my head to stop her from seeing the blush coating my cheeks.

Billie grabbed my hand. "Come on, let's go," she kissed me on the cheek and brought me down to her car. Or should I say her parent's car.

"Where's your car?"

"Oh, I wanted to keep a low profile, so my parents offered to lend me their car for the night. I didn't want the paparazzi's recognizing my car and shit," she shrugged. Billie opened the door of the passenger seat. "M'lady", she bowed playfully, which elicited a giggle out of me.

Once we were settled in the car, I turned to look over at her.

"So, where are we going?"

"You'll see," she winked teasingly. I huffed at her response. She knew I hated surprises.

Billie and I drove in silence, the soft sound of the radio playing in the car. As she merged onto the highway, she placed her hand on my thigh, squeezing it slightly. I played with the rings harbouring her fingers, a soft smile playing on my face. I'd missed this.