L'AMOUR DE MA VIE - Billie Eilish

Chapter 13

Billie's POV

I hadn't been able to get Emily out of my mind since the night we kissed. I felt angry. Angry at myself for thinking things would be different. Angry at her for being in a state of denial, when it was clear that she still harboured feelings for me.

I felt disappointed in myself. I'd initially started up this friendship with Em to get some answers, but my feelings overshadowed my end goal and now, I was back at square one, confused and feeling rejected. Maybe I pushed her too far. She'd obviously gone through a lot of shit in the last few months, and kissing her probably wasn't the best idea to soothe her already overfilled mind. I knew I'd have to talk to her eventually, though. We both needed to clear things up if we wanted to stay in each other's lives, even if it's just as friends.

For now, I settled on going to the party my friend Fred had invited me to. Considering what had transpired a couple of days ago, I wasn't expecting to see Emily at the function. Not to mention the fact that she hated parties. I'd been the one to insist that she come, but our little fight obviously meant that she was off the hook. She was probably really happy about that and honestly, I didn't really mind. I was looking forward to having a night where I could forget about the girl who always seemed to occupy my thoughts.

"You excited to party?" My friend Sasha asked me excitedly as she drove her car. I was sat in the passenger seat, having opted to leave my car at home. If Sasha and I were too tipsy to drive after the party, we agreed that we would Uber back to my place, though, most of the time, we ended up crashing in one of Fred's many guest bedrooms. To anyone who didn't know him, it was perceived as weird to see the 21 year old living in a big ass house all by himself. He came from money and had recently accessed the trust fund his parents had set up for him. The first thing he bought was that house, explaining that he craved independence, which made no sense, considering his parent's money was literally the only reason he could afford the house in the first place. I wasn't judging him or anything, I'm only stating a fact. Despite being well off, Fred still decided to attend school. He was studying law, just like his father had done many years ago, and he was doing pretty good in his classes. You'd think he was only following in his father's footsteps, but Fred genuinely liked the concept of law. He also loved arguing, which was a bonus. I'd only hung out with him a handful of times since we met at another party hosted by a mutual friend, but he quickly became someone I genuinely appreciated. I was excited to see him tonight, and I knew he wanted me to finally meet his best friend Samantha.

"Earth to Billie!" Sasha shouted, waving a hand in front of my face, making sure to keep a watchful eye on the road.

"Sorry," I shot her a sheepish look, knowing how much she hated when I zoned out. I'd been doing that a lot in the last few months, so I understood her frustration. "Yeah, I'm ready to let loose and party," I answered her previous question with a small smile.

Sasha pulled up right in front of Fred's house and took her keys out of the ignition. She turned her body in my direction so she could face me properly.

"You need to stop doing that", she scolded me, her eyes holding a disapproving look.

"Stop doing what?" I mumbled.

"You need to stop thinking about her. That bitch broke your heart, not once, but twice, and I'll be damned if I let you keep torturing yourself over someone who clearly doesn't respect you," she spat bitterly.

I rolled my eyes at her outburst. Although she'd been there for me immensely during my dark times, I never appreciated the blatant display of hatred she showcased towards Emily.

"It's easier said than done, Sasha," I sighed. "And she's not a bitch, she's just confused. But you're right. I need to forget about her, at least for tonight. Come on, let's go in!" I changed the subject and got out of the car.