L'AMOUR DE MA VIE - Billie Eilish

Chapter 25

Em's POV

"So, are you going to tell me what's on your mind?"

I looked over at Sam, my eyes narrowed in confusion. She shook her head as she chuckled.

"Look, I know we've only known each other for a few months, but I can tell when something's bothering you. Plus, my grandfather said you were distracted at work today."

I cursed the old man under my breath, hating the fact that he'd noticed. I loved my boss either way, but sometimes, a girl just wants to wallow in peace without anyone asking questions.

I'd finished my shift about 15 minutes ago. Sam had come to the book store a few minutes before closing, and suggested that we have a little hang out session. I hesitantly agreed, not because I didn't want to see her, but because I felt distracted. I didn't want her to think I was bored with her, when in reality, I was thinking about fucking Billie again. It was tiring for me, and I'm sure it must be getting tiring for my friends, too.

"Look," I sighed, focusing my eyes on the sidewalk we were currently walking on. "I just have a lot of stuff on my mind, that's all."

"Is it about Billie?" Sam asked me intently. I shrugged at her question.

"Look, it's only normal for you to still be thinking about her, nobody bla–," she started before I cut her off.

"Sam, I really don't want to talk about this right now," I spat at her. I regretted snapping at her almost immediately. She didn't deserve to be spoken to that way, especially since she was only trying to help. We stayed in silence for a few minutes, continuing our walk towards my apartment.

"I'm sorry, Sam," I said as we arrived in front of my building. I pinched the bridge of my nose and closed my eyes, having an internal dilemma with myself. "I didn't mean to snap at you, I'm just so tired of thinking about her. I don't want to start talking about her, too. At least, not right now," I explained.

Sam brought me into a bear hug, her hands tangling in my unkempt hair. That display of affection alone made me want to burst into tears. I'd felt so alone these past few days. It was my fault, really. I always had trouble opening up to anyone, which resulted in people misunderstanding me. I'd gotten better at communicating my feelings, but that specific conversation I had the last time I saw Billie made my throat close up every time I even thought about it.

Sam pulled away from the hug, keeping her hands on my shoulders.

"Tell you what," she peered down at me. "How about I go get us some Chinese food, some shitty wine and we can watch the last three Harry Potter movies?"

I nodded my head at the girl, my heart feeling warm. Although I'd only met Sam a couple of months ago, I adored her.

"I'll got get all the shit and you go upstairs and change in some pyjamas, ok?"

I nodded once again, not trusting my words at this very moment. I made my way up to the entrance of the building, glancing at Sam as she started to walk towards the store.

"Oh, and Em?"

I raised an eyebrow at the girl in question.

"If you ever do feel like you want to talk or vent, whether it's tonight or in 10 years, I'm here," she winked before heading back towards the corner store.

                               .

A few hours later, my body was filled with shitty Chinese food and an ungodly amount of wine. Although it's problematic, drowning my sorrows with the beverage had finally made me relax. Granted, I felt even more emotional than I'd originally been, but I wasn't so anxious about Sam noticing the obvious distress on face. I simply didn't care, my facade slowly crumbling as time went on.