L'AMOUR DE MA VIE - Billie Eilish

Chapter 26

Em's POV

The beginning of June had made itself known a couple of days ago. I hadn't really done anything remotely productive in the last week. My abundance of emotions was making it really hard for me to get out of bed in the first place. The little amount of energy I'd managed to find had been dedicated to the few shifts I'd worked, and nothing else.

The outlet I usually used to vent and to get rid of all the negativity inside of me was songwriting. Unfortunately, I'd felt so conflicted in the last few days, which deeply affected my ability to write. How could I even compose anything new when I truly had no idea how I was feeling? I was able to decipher a few of my emotions, but the problem was trying to justify them. Sam had reassured me over and over again that my feelings were valid, and I believed her. In the end, what I deeply wanted was to understand them.

I'd racked my brain over and over again, trying to understand why Billie's words had affected me so much. Just a few weeks ago, I was doing relatively fine and all that progress got shattered the minute I'd heard the singer say those words.

I met someone.

Overall, I felt like I was being selfish. I'd been adamant on the fact that I couldn't be with Billie anymore, considering the panoply of problems in our relationship. Yet, the moment she meets someone, I'm doubting my decision? Truth is, I knew our relationship was doomed, but I didn't want to see her with anybody else. How does one make sense of that?

I heard my phone buzz on my bedside table. I looked at the caller ID in confusion, finding it odd that Kyra was calling me at the crack of dawn.

"Hello?" My voice was hoarse from sleep. I'd woken up at around 6AM. I had desperately tried to find sleep again, but that quickly became impossible when my mind started reeling with unwanted thoughts.

"We're going to the beach!" Ky shouted into my ear. I winced slightly at the agressive tone of voice. "I'm picking you up at 10:30, so be ready."

"I don't know Ky, I'm tired as fuck and spending the day on a crowded beach isn't my idea of relaxing," I admitted. I heard her scoff into the phone.

"First of all, it's a private beach. Second of all, it's fucking boiling outside, and I know for a fact that you haven't installed your AC yet." I looked over at the uninstalled unit sitting in the corner of my room. I rolled my eyes at my best friend's words, hating the fact that she knew me so well.

"Who's going?" I asked hesitantly.

"Billie's not coming, that's all you need to know. You need to stop moping around, Em. I mean it, it's not healthy. Finn and Claudia are packing a lunch, so the only thing you need to bring is your cute ass self," she said. I sighed, knowing there was no way Ky would take no for an answer.

"Okay," I answered defeatedly. "Can we invite Sam?"

"E, she's already coming. Everyone has been confirmed for a few days now."

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" I asked my overexcited friend.

"It's better to spring stuff up on you, gives you less time to come up with an excuse to bail," she admitted cheekily. I chuckled at the statement, knowing how right she was.

I looked over at my alarm clock. 8:00AM.

"Ok, I'll see you in a few hours," I replied before hanging up. I reluctantly got out of my bed before making my way towards the bathroom. I stripped off my pyjamas and hopped into the shower. The hot water was doing wonders to ease the tension in my body. As I washed my skin with my strawberry scented soap, I couldn't help but feel a tiny bit elated at the idea of going to the beach. To be honest, it was fucking roasting outside, which made the thought of swimming in the cool water very alluring to me.