Was only Yours to Break (Intersex GxG)

Chapter 5

Jamie

I woke up from a knock at my door, my eyes felt heavy and puffy. I guess everything did happen and it wasn't a dream. There was a bit of crust in my eyelashes which I rubbed since it irritated me.

"Jamie? Are you up?" A male voice, probably Sam, was coming from the other side of my door. I didn't respond as I was too tired and not in the mood for a conversation.

"I guess not." The voice got farther as I heard shuffling come from the hall.

I checked my phone seeing that I had a couple of notifications and my friend group asking what happened, but it wasn't the name I wanted to see appear from the top. It was a free Sunday for me so I connected my phone to my speaker and started to play whatever song popped up once I pressed shuffle play. I moved around in my bed for about half an hour until a couple of my friends came into my room. Zack, Jules, Allie, and of course Joseph.

"Please no, I don't need an intervention or whatever it is that is about to happen right now. This is so stupid." I rolled over so my back was turned to them and I pulled my blanket over my head so they wouldn't see what a mess I was. Whatever words they were gonna fly at me with would just go straight out of my other ear.

"Damn she really loved that girl." Allie was never the best at whispering which I didn't mind, but the thing is she wasn't just some girl, it was Maddison and I am still so in love with her. I don't think that we'll get past this, not like there was something going to happen before my fight with Alisa. 

"Listen, I understand having unrequited love for someone. You know how much I used to like that guy a year older than us." Jules came and sat on my bed next to me. She always was boy crazy that is until she met her current boyfriend, they've been dating for almost 2 years now.

"I'm friends with you and Maddison, I think it's best both of you just distance yourselves from one another." Zack also used to be friends with Alisa until they both grew apart, Zack Maddison and Alisa were a close trio until he started to become more attached to us.

We've all been there for each other at our worse and lowest moments when we needed it. Right now I have this deep pain that is slowly turning into anger and frustration. I really needed them right now, I took my comforter off my head and sat up. Allie came over and gave me a tight hug since she was always the touchy type.

"How about we all be fatties and treat you to your favourite froyo place." Zack tried to lighten the mood which made everyone giggle, even me. 

I was usually the designated driver, but today it was Joseph. We all got in his white car and drove to get frozen yogurt. It took about 17 minutes and apparently Kayla was waiting for us there. My best friend took awhile to park like he was an old grandma, many people started groaning and pretending to age rapidly.

As soon as we got there Allie ran to her girlfriend to hug her tightly and kiss her on the cheek. I looked at them with a smile on my face, but Jules good see right through me.

"Jamie, are you alright? Your eyes look more dark blue and sad" She patted my arm trying to comfort me but the truth is that I envied what Kayla and Allie had. I wanted what they had, to have a strong connection with someone special. Having that person be just as excited as you are to see each other. Being able to be vulnerable and trusting your partner. To have my person.

I was first to order and I decided to get blueberry frozen yogurt with white chocolate chips and lychee popping boba. It was my go-to order whenever I came by. My grandpa used to take me here all the time when I was sad or when I asked him, he spoiled me a lot when I was younger. He passed away awhile ago when I was in 4th grade, after that I stopped coming to get frozen yogurt. It was to painful to think of the memories, it always made me sad knowing he wasn't going to make new ones with me. Now I get to make new moments with other people I love in a place that created smiles on my grandpas face. I weirdly felt closer to him every time I came him with the others.

It was a sunny day so we walked to a near by park once everybody got their orders, without thought or conversation we all went to sit at a wooden table we'd always go to like it was part of our routine. I now this sounds very weird, but eating and talking with my friends at the park always made things feel slightly better when they weren't.

"You feeling maybe 0.1% better, Jamie?" I swallowed the frozen yogurt that was in my mouth then turned to Kayla. She gave me a slight nudge and soft smile. 

"hmm I'll say 10% better right now." I gave her a nod and smiled at everyone at the table. We laughed and talked about random things for a couple of hours.

I wasn't talking as much as I would, yes it is about Maddison and Alisa. I won't be able to see either of them tomorrow at school, especially my third period where I have both of them in that class. I am sure that she told Alisa what happened between us, it was about her so i'm sure she did. I'm not sure if it was just me, there was a small moment between us. Maybe it's all in my head and it means nothing, I need to stop chasing a dream that is so far out of my reach. The only thing I need to pass through is socials studies, hopefully nothing bad happens.