Chapter XIII•I told you

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And weeks had passed..
Weeks in which after that conversation, there was nothing left, except just suffering, asking was useless..

It was useless, it was too strong to say, but it was the truth..
It is useless to ask if no one spoke or if those who were supposed to were silent, for who knows what sort of reason..

Life goes on ..

Jon said to himself, life went on even on its own, and apparently it was like that..
Life went on and he couldn't afford to suffer any more than he already had, life went on and would go on anyway even with a broken heart and a broken friendship..

Here it is, it's over...
He had wanted to finish it, he didn't want to suffer and he couldn't even afford it, he let off steam by singing and writing, as he had always done and as he always would have done..

He had decided it out of awareness, perhaps the time had really come to think a little more about him and less about others, certainly true too, that he would always spend himself on something or someone, but minimally under the relational aspect of term..

He would have done it if it really would have been worth it, a bit like with the friends of the band, who grew up together, in a friendship of years and years, and it was right that someone, if not everyone, should spend their time for that..

Of course, even that five-year friendship was important for him, but it couldn't have been important only for him or at least that's what he thought, needless to say he didn't know the real reason..

He wanted to find out and she preferred to remain silent and lose everything, with perhaps the constancy of not going back to the way it was before..

And he watched from afar as Jon spoke to Richie and watched, but didn't say a word..
She listened and it suffered because she understood that she had asked for this situation, she could have ended it the moment Jon wanted to talk to her, but he hadn't done so and he could only stand by and watch..

-Richie I'm taking your advice - Jon had said to his guitarist friend who was pleased that for once, Jon had listened to him

But June didn't understand what advice those two were talking about, she didn't know why he wasn't there and she was only listening to a half-baked speech, and advice that she would never have understood..

- Which ?!
That of thinking more about yourself and less about others - said Richie asking for confirmation

He had seen Richie, June hiding in a corner and he wanted her to hear, he wanted her to understand what she was losing, even if she had already lost him..

- yes I understood what you meant..
I think I have to stop running after someone who makes me suffer, I wasn't born just to suffer..
I want there to also be joy when I write, I have spent too much time suffering for Miriam..
That I'm not willing to suffer any longer for a friendship..
I really don't want to do this,” Jon said

And June felt, or rather had felt, she had lost...
That behavior assumed for months, had meant that he lost Jon with a single snap of the fingers..
And now that he had stopped suffering, she was the one to start...

Go away..
That's what June had to do, she had to leave that corner and never hear anything of what Jon would have said..

She was tired of hearing it, even though she had wanted it, and she was sure that Chanel would have told him exactly that..

He knew her and knew well that she wasn't one of those people who doesn't tell her, the truth was important for Chanel..
And in that story how much he wanted everything to be discovered sooner or later...

- and it was what gets you - Chanel asked her friend, seeing her eyes almost full of tears

- nothing really, I have something in my eye - said June, she didn't want to say it so as not to hear the historical phrase that everyone says

- yes of course in both?!
Don't screw me June, I know you, so talk about what's happening - she said again, closing the door so no one could hear

-I lost it Cha,-June said once again

- Lost who June, it's clear - Chanel said to her friend, even though she understood who the actual subject of the story was

- Jon - said June..
Just one word and nothing more, but a name that hurt her just to say it..

- you can't say for sure - said Chanel even though it had been obvious for a couple of months

-I heard him talking to Richie,- June said to the guitarist's wife

- and what was he saying to my husband, let's see - Chanel then asked

- said he would follow Richie's advice, to think more about himself..
That he would stop suffering any longer and that he had already done it enough for an ex of his and that he wouldn't suffer for me and our friendship too..
He doesn't want to do it and he can't afford it anymore,- June said

Yes and that was exactly what Jon would have done, he was tired of running after people, he was tired because every time it always seemed like a failure..

And now he wouldn't do it anymore, he wouldn't fight anymore, actually this time he would let it go to live peacefully..

- you don't think Jon has the sane right to do that - Chanel said as if to agree with that poor singer exhausted by the insipid behavior of others

- he said he would be here for me and now he gives up - said June

- you're not together, he can do what he wants, in fact I understand it, he waited too long to do it - said Chanel

- but which side are you on, Chanel - asked June, dumbfounded

- on Jon's side, how many times have I told you to talk to him and you don't..
Hell, he came to you personally to understand what was happening, but you preferred to remain silent, acting like the idiot you are not..
Face reality, you created a rule yourself that doesn't exist and that your father didn't impose on you, in fact he didn't impose it on any of us..
By doing this you are losing Jon, or rather you have lost him..
And now allow me to agree with him, you know as much as I do how much he suffered for his ex Miriam, do you really want him to suffer for you too?!
No June it doesn't work like that in the real world..
And let me tell you I  told you..
And now you have two choices: either look at the fruit of your silence or talk to him  for once and see what happens..
It's up to you to decide - said Chanel

And what would he do now?

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