It's Okay To Not Be Okay

Chapter 7

Soon things started calming down, at least in real life, the media is less behind the team... him, people are not getting on the streets ready to tarnish them, kill them... but for some reasons on social media it kept getting worst or maybe it's just him reading every single thing which is making it look worst?

The only thing keeping him sane during all this hurricane was his daughter, his princess, he tried his best to stay away from everything, he wanted to enjoy this phase of his life but the second he was alone he couldn't help but check his phone.

He had kind of developed a habit of scrolling through social media, reading anything and everything about himself.

He remembered the rules, he remembered them clearly when mahi bhai made virat run 30 laps of ground making him repeat them when he found him almost getting a panic attack after reading things about himself, well he is an overthinker and has a really sensitive heart and the hate he was getting was immense and basically illogical, unlike him, he deserved it.

Never read about yourself on social media.
Never in your life open your damn social media after you lose a match.

Isn't he doing the exact opposite right now? But who cares, definitely not him... or anyone else.

To add fuel to the fire and more to his misery he was being rested from the next test series and he felt like it was right considering what happened last month, but one thing he knew for sure and so did everyone, he wasn't rested he was dropped and people knew that too and they made sure he knew it too.

First 2 months he tried his best to ignore all those, worst thoughts but soon two months turned into three and three turned into four and fou- this is where when things started getting worse for him, his brain kept telling him that this was it's over... he is over now and now he couldn't ignore that voice he was letting himself drown in those thoughts, against his wish. He wanted to quiet them down, mute this voice in his head which always tells him the worst of the situation.

He tried to get himself busy with anything but not cricket, but that's not possible is it? he worked out and did bowling practice a little but that's it he just can't get himself to touch his bat again, he tried but the whole time the flash back didn't stopped so he ended up giving up, like always, like a losers.

He felt so... so lonely in his heart, don't get him wrong he had his family with him but still somewhere he wanted, he needed at least one of his broth- friend to check on him, talk to him but he got none... maybe they think the same? They hate him too? Maybe he do deserves all this.

He won't say they didn't try to contact him, they did... they did try to contact him for the first few weeks but he chose to ignore it by himself and still he got the audacity to blame them? but it's not like they never showed up at any of their doors at any time out of the blue if they really wanted to check up on them. He himself had shown up unannounced at virat's, Rohit's and others'door thousands of times, sometimes with others or sometimes alone.

He can feel his breathing and heart picking up, he quickly put the weight down and sat on the floor of his gym. The question in his mind is still lingering, why did they give up so soon? after a few weeks he didn't receive any call or even a message from anyone except a few important work messages or more like mail, it was like he was never anything to them, he never existed.

They must be hating him and they have all the rights but still... he hoped against the hope.

"Jaddu?" He heard someone calling him breaking him out of his thoughts. "In the gym" he said once he calmed his breathing down, just enough to look normal. Soon he heard footsteps nearing the gym, he quickly wipped his face not wanting to worry her.