It's Okay To Not Be Okay

Chapter 12

Jaddu woke up near afternoon looking around confused trying to process where he is, "You woke up?" He heard a voice starleting him.

"Mahi bhai?" he looked at him confused and shocked, is he hallucinating again?

"Need something?" mahi bhai asked but he kept staring at him blinking trying to process everything. He slowly started remembering yesterday's incidents- feeling little off, tough practice session, hardik's words, hate, panic attack, passing out- "Jad?" he flinched back when a felt a hand run through his probably dirty hairs but relaxed immediately realising he just zoned out and it's mahi bhai near him.

"Are you okay baacha?" he asked worry clearly evident in his voice. "Y-yeah-" he tried to reply but immediately started coughing, throat too dry. Mahi bhai quickly helped him sit comfortably and made him drink water.

He rubbed his back till he was okay, "Have something then I will give you your meds" he said and grabbed the telephone to call room service.

"Bhai- eh- You here?" Jaddu asked after a while of sitting in silence. "Came to meet everyone" he replied simply, he studied his face for a while where jaddu tried his level best to avoid looking in his eyes.

"How are feeling right now?" He asked, looking at him like he was trying to study his body language "Don't know. Body ache and everything... Weird" for the first he replied honestly, the physical uncomfortable feeling was too much.

"It's okay have this soup then I will give you meds"mahi bhai said forwarding the soup bowl which just arrived. He didn't wanted to eat that, even thou he haven't had anything since yesterday he still didn't had any appetite but he knew that if he refused he will stress him out even more then he already did so half heartedly he took the bowl and forced the soup down his thoart praying to God that it would stay inside him till he manages to make mahi bhai leave him alone which is gonna be hardest task.

"What happened?" suddenly mahi bhai asked breaking the silence, he looked at him confused before it finally clicked in what he actually meant. "Nothing" he replied with a shrug and continued forcing the soup down his throat, he can feel the panic creeping in and bile rise up again but he kept pushing them back, he can't fall weak right now, not in front of anyone.

"You know right Harry has no filter in his mouth, he didn't meant that" mahi bhai said and how badly he wish to just throw himself in his arms and cry about everything- how badly people are trolling him, the way even his daughter and wife are dragged too but he can't, only if he didn't played selfishly that day they would have won that but no and maybe Hardik is rig- no surely hardik is right he should just retire, the country doesn't need a selfish player like him.

"Jad?" he heard his worried voice and realized he zoned out again he mentally kicked himself and looked at him with a smile even though the panic was creeping up and he can feel the bile rise up again. "I know bhai don't worry I was feeling a little off since morning, didn't realize when it got so bad" he replied barely able to keep his voice off from wavering.

"If you want-" ms started but he cut him off he didn't wanted him to scold Harry, he hates him enough he didn't wanted more. "It's okay Bhai I am alright see, just a little fever" he assured with a smile, a fake one he learned to mask his inner turmoil.

After forcing down half of the soup he took the meds and hoped that he will go to his room now but got shocked when he saw him unpacking his bag and arranging his clothes beside him.

"B-bha-i" he stuttered nervous and the panic rising up every second. "Yes?" Ms looked at him confused and concerned when he saw him suddenly sweating profusely even with the AC on.

"Hey! Are you okay?" He asked worried immediately coming near him. "Yeah just feeling hot might be due to fever and meds" he replied trying his level best to keep his voice off from wavering in front of him.

"You sure?" Ms asked still not looking sure by the answer, "Yes bhai don't worry" he lied fir the thousand time.

Suddenly ms phone rang and he looked at the caller id then back at him. "Important call I will be back in few minutes if you need something call me okay?" He told him before receiving the call and went outside to talk.

Jaddu immediately got up from the bed and ran to the bathroom throwing up everything and having a panic attack all together.

After a while once he was dine throwing up whatever he had in his system he flushed and quickly brushed his teeth with his shaky hands, he could barely even breath but he had to go back to bed before mahi bhai is back, he can't let him know this.

He walked towards the bed feeling like his body was made up of lead, the black dots in front of his eyes making it hard to see him anything.

As soon as he touched the bed he quickly got under the covers knowing he will pass out soon but if he lays in a proper position they might think he is just sleeping.

He can feel his lungs burning begging for oxygen but he just couldn't breathe and soon the darkness inglufed him.

Ms came back shortly after that and saw him sleeping, he smiled and went back to arranging his clothes, ain't no way he will let him stay alone in this condition.

In evening jaddu woke up hearing some noises around him, he felt like he was getting burned alive but at the same time getting froze tk death.

He opened his eyes and say virat, ash, Rohit and Bhuvi seating with mahi bhai talking about something but he couldn't understand what, his brain was too Fogy.

"Hey" he heard a voice near himself and took a few seconds to recognise it was Rohit. "How are you now?" He asked looking at him with a smile but worry clearly evident in his voice. "Better" again a lie but none of them seems to catch that, not even mahi bhai so maybe he finally mastered the art of lying.

"Doctor came to check you again and gave you a injection but he told us you have not been eating properly, you're too weak" virat said looking at him raising an eyebrow waiting for a explanation.

Jaddu tried to laugh it off, "That might be because of high fever and skipping dinner, don't worry I am fine" again a lie, he wasn't fine, he needed help, he wants someone to pull him out of the dark hole he fell into but he couldn't ask for it.

He doesn't deserve them.

A/N-

I am really sorry to make you guys wait for updates but YK life isn't it our favour sometime :)

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