It's Okay To Not Be Okay

Chapter 10

The sun dipped low on the horizon, while the team was in the ground some lying down, already done with practice, while some completed their last drill. All of them are practicing hard for their last test of the series, even though they won the series they don't want to lose the last match, do they?

Jaddu was in the nets with ash balling to him and was getting hit for bigshot on every ball, it frustrated him he wanted to pitch the ball better and takes his wicket but at the same time he was praying for the practice to end soon, he can feel every single bone of his aching.

He knew he was down with fever in the morning when he woke with a heavy head but didn't had enough courage to inform anyone, does he regret it? Hell yeah because he was sure if the practice didn't end soon he will end up passing out.

It's not like he did any good in practice today, it overall had been disastrous for him. His usually sharp reflexes were dulled, neither he could ball properly nor field and about batting? it had been out of questions since long time.

Everyone on the ground noticed that and tried to offer some help which he simply refused telling them he could manage, not wanting to waste their time on him too it was not like he was playing. They didn't perused him too much either thinking it to be an off day, they all have one.

The practice soon came to an end and he never felt this relieved by this more than today ever he immediately sat down on the ground breathing heavily, his head spinning, ash patted his back sympathetically "It's okay everyone has an off day" he said before making his way to pack his gear while jaddu nodded to no one in particular, lost in his thoughts.

While Virat and Rohit left for a meeting right away straight from the ground, leaving the team behind to go back to their hotel on team bus.

The team was waiting in the bus almost everyone was there, everyone except jaddu. Minutes passed, but there was no sign of him t making them a little worried, what's taking him so long?

Bhuvi decided to go back to check on him but immediately dropped the plan and turned to Hardik "Go check on him," he urged. Hardik, who had not spoken to him properly since the bitter day of the CT2017 final. felt a surge of irritation. "Why me?" he retorted, "Please?" bhuvi requested, and who was him to deny those puppy eyes? No one can do that so even though he was irritated he headed back to the ground.

Hardik found Jaddu moving slowly, his movements sluggish as he packed his gear. His irritation
fiared into anger. "What's taking you so long?" Hardik snapped, storming towards him. "We're all waiting because of you!"

Jaddu looked up, his eyes dull and expression tired, but hardik was blinded by irritation to notice anything.

He didn't respond and continued packing at his slow pace, feeling a little shaky the loud voice increasing his headache.

The ignorance spiked his temper even higher. "You're useless, you know that? Ever since that final, you've been dragging everyone down. Maybe it's time you just quit if you can't keep up!" He finished with a huff before storming back to the bus.

Jaddu flinched at the harsh words but said nothing, he was so used to these kinds of words but still listening to it from his close ones sounded too harsh. The weight of Hardik's comments were settled heavily on his already fragile health.

With a final, slow movement, he finished packing and walked to the bus without a wordlessly, he just wanted to lock himself in his cage and maybe take a pill or two and sleep.

The ride back to the hotel was silent, the tension palpable maybe the team realised too that their plan backfired when they saw hardik coming back alone, fuming, bhuvi felt guilty thinking maybe he should have gone himself to check on him. The whole ride Jaddu's mind replayed Hardik's words over and over, each repetition cutting deeper in his soul.

He tried to distract his mind somehow by digging his nails in his palms, it always kept him grounded, stopped him from zoning out but today even that doesn't seem to work. By the time they reached the hotel, he felt like a shell of himself, too empty.

As soon as they reached back to their hotel jaddu made beeline to his room but ash caught him almost making him have a mental breakdown, he wanted to go back to his cage "Dinner?" Ash asked, "Later" he replied and almost ran to his room before anyone else can catch him. Ash frowned at his behaviour he wanted to ask if he was alright but he ran, he brushed it off thinking he might need some alone time.

He lay on the bed, and instead of taking rest he ended scrolling through Twitter as he did every night. The comments were particularly vicious. Trolls and critics tore into him, shattering his already non-existent confidence, blaming him for every failure the team had even though he wasn't playing.

With each line his heart pounded and each beat echoing louder in his ears, his breathing grew erratic. He kept his phone aside and tried to take some deep breaths but the headache was too much for him to concentrate on anything.

The room spun, black dots appearing in front of his eyes and today for the first time he prayed to pass out soon, the headache with his lungs giving up to his fully blown panic attack was too much.

His vision blurred, and the fever he'd ignored all day spiked and his body was finally giving up. He lay down on the bed in a rather uncomfortable position but didn't had any energy to move either slowly but finally the darkness crept in until he finally passed out, alone in his hotel room.

Next morning-

Everyone came down for breakfast, well everyone except jaddu, all looked at eachother a silent way of asking hf they knew anything.

"Jaddu?" Virat called knocking on the door, they waited for a few minutes but received no response. "Jad open the door" he tried again this time a little louder, the worry increasing each passing second because they knew he is the kind of person to reply almost immediately, no matter what if he is busy he would have let them know by now. "Hey jad!" Rohit tried, panicking a little.

"Bring the extra keys" Rohit told virat who looked equally worried and concerned. He nodded and immediately ran back to his room, being the captain he always has the extra key of everyone's room as they tend to misplace their keys quite often.

Meanwhile Rohit kept trying by knocking on the door, calling his name but again no response.

Virat bought the keycard and immediately opened the door and met with darkness the room was pitch black. Rohit searched around and switched on the light.

"Jad!" Virat was the first one to notice him lying on the bed, his skin pale. "Jaddu?" Rohit tried to wake him up but instantly pulled back with a hiss when he touched his cheeks, not expecting to find him burning in fever.

"He is burning" Rohit said out loud, increasing the other one's worry too. They tried to wake him by calling his name, shaking him, sprinkling some water but he remained still making them panic more.

"Call the doctor" virat ordered while trying to move him into a better position and covering him with a blanket. Rohit nodded and looked for his phone but obviously he isn't 'ROHIT SHARMA' if he doesn't forget anything and these are the situation where he curse himself the most.

He almost ran out towards his room to grab his phone, almost crashing into ash who luckily saw him first and held him before they could fall.

"Where are you running?" he asked, helping him to steady himself. "Jad is having a high fever and most probably passed out" he told, the worry and confusion evident in the other's eyes, he looked completely okay yesterday if they minus his dull mien he had when he came back to bus they all brushed it off thinking they might have had gotten in some argument.

"I will get the doctor" ash rendered, phone already out in his hands searching for their physician number. "Okay then we are waiting in his room, be quick thou" he agreed and went back to jad's room.

Mentally praying to God for him to be alright soon.