shibby - an endless loop of toxic love

no love lost

author's note - really exited to be writing this piece and i hope you guys enjoy it just as much as i do, just a heads up there are some serious topics in this that may trigger some, this is written in the perspective of siobhan x

setting - shibby is in the nursery covering in the office for marjorie and autumn

i stare at the wall, my head spinning in circles. my phone buzzing in my hand although it still feels so empty. my eyes shift to my screen as i see the billions of notifications popping up, who from? roger. my hand covers my head as i open my phone, an endless amount of messages
"when are you coming home?"
"call me now"
"why aren't you fucking answering"
"if you don't answer right now siobhan i swear to got i'm going to drive over there"
my eyes widen from the last message. no...no, surely he wouldn't come down here. i fiddle with my fingers, but what if he does? i quickly press the call button and stare at my phone as rings in my ear, as soon as i can hear his breath, i feel hesitant to speak.
"hello? roger are you there?"
"yes. i'm here, i see you finally came to your senses"
i feel my stomach tighter "mhm" is the only noise i can make out.
"such a feisty girl you can be, yet look how quiet i make you" he says in his manipulative tone, how i hate his manipulative tone.
"roger is there something you needed?"
"not at all darling, just wanted to make sure you know your place. ignoring me like that? tut tut tut"
"roger i didn't mean to ignor-"
"hush" he cuts me off "don't do it again. understood"
"yes"
"good. i'll see you back home, don't be late" he hangs up the phone
i put my phone down on the desk, catching my arm on the corner of the table. i wince in pain rolling up my sleeve to see another cut by roger re opened, i watch as the blood slowly drifts down my arm. i grab a tissue and disinfectant, rubbing it. i let out a sad croaky sigh, wondering how i got into the position of carrying disinfectant with me just in case anything like this happened, wondering how i got into the position of feeling numb instead of pain because i'm so used to it. then i remember how i got into
that position, he got me into this position.

my thoughts are interrupted by charlotte flinging the door wide open

"hey shibby! siobhan! i meant siobhan!"
i groan in annoyance. where on earth did that stupid nickname come from, i glance back at charlotte, noticing how her expression changed from bubbly to extremely concerned in a matter of seconds. i look at her confused, before realising she's glaring and the piled up bruises and cuts on my arm. shit i forgot to roll my sleeve down after wiping. quickly, i pull my sleeve down, feeling every twitch on my skin from the fabric getting caught on it.
"what are you staring at?" i look at her fiercely, hiding my trembling legs under the table, i glare at her praying she can't see how vulnerable i feel.
"what the fuck happened to your arm?"
"nothing charlotte. nothing happened to my fucking arm!" i snap back, twisting my hair around. she looks at me sceptically while grabbing some papers off the shelf and shutting the door behind her as she walks out. i feel my phone vibrating in my hands again. for gods sake.

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im on my way home. i wonder what charlotte must think, does she think any less of me? will she tell anyone? my image is so dear to me, ruining it would be like ruining my life, i can't let this make me seem weak.

i drive into the front, staring at the mansion as a stumble out of my car. deep breaths shib, deep breaths. i go to open the door, my hands shaking so aggressively i feel as if my keys might slip from my grip, i wander into the house, locking the door behind me. i turn around, spotting roger looking me up and down from the stairs