authors note - okay so i'm back. this one is continuing from the last chapter, so bow shibs goes to see mia. sorry for being a ghost just been a bit busy lately but since it's the holidays now i don't have much to do and posts should be more regular, anyway i decided to try something a little new with this chapter and depending if you like it, depends on where this will go. anyway please refrain from reading if adult material upsets you or talks of abusive and homosexual relationships make you uncomfortable.
"WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK MIA"
i stare at her in disbelief, every ounce of my body shaking in pure rage.
"why the fuck would you tell me roger was dead!? AND WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T YOU TELL ME I WAS GROWING HIS CHILD?" i scream so loudly i amaze myself, i've never felt this much anger towards anyone before.
"oh come on your acting like i did some horrible shitty thing, i needed you to be relieved for a while and i knew the only thing that would help was you thinking ratty roger was gone for good"
the red head sits down and looks at me, i'm shocked at how unbelievably calm she is.
"and what you didn't think to tell me i was
pregnant?"
"how was i supposed to fucking know? they only spoke to vivian since your apparently involved with her and they could tell you until you weren't acting like a fucking lunatic, oh yeah and what is up with you and viv hm? never pictured you with a woman before" she stares me up and down.
"nothing is going on with me and vivian! i was just lonely with roger and needed someone to talk to!"
"oh really? i suggest you break contact with her then. you don't want to fuck her up, she really likes you shibby."
my breathing slows, i'm no longer angry at mia, i no longer have anything to be angry about.
before i can bring myself together, a single year drops down my cheek, leading to many tears. before i know it, i'm crying uncontrollably.
mia comes towards me and pulls me in for a hug, everyone knows she only ever accepts physical touch from her girlfriend, charlotte, but something in her eyes softens as she holds me in her arms.
"it's all going to be okay shibs, it's all going to work out in the end, but you can't to that to her. she really loves you and if you can't give her the love she deserves, you have to let her go"
i sob in her arms as i let her words sink into me, if i can't love her i have to let her go.
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on the way back from mia's, everything is blurry. i think about what it really means to love a woman, could i ever be with the same gender?
i start to wonder if maybe it is love, the way she smiles and looks at me, the ways she's the only person who can make me laugh, the way she sees me as a good person, the good person she brings out in me. i've never felt this way towards anyone, but when she looked at me in my dress, all i could see was pure admiration, it made me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world.
i decide to pull up at the nearest bar for a drink, i really need one.
as i wander inside, i am met with a gorgeous woman, with brunette hair and the prettiest blue eyes.
"hiya! i'm sara, would you like me to find you a seat for you and some company" she smiles warmly.
"oh uhm no actually i'm here alone" i mumble, looking down on the floor.
"that's fine! you can take a seat at the bar"
i can't help but smile at the sound of her bubbly voice, she gestures me to follow her and leads me to the bar and gets behind the counter as i take a seat.
"so what would you like today?" she giggles.
"what would you recommend?"
she bites her lip.
"well i don't normally give this one out too often, but you look like a margarita kind of girl..." she leans against the counter, "you might be thinking that a typical margarita is nothing special, but this one comes with my number" she says, winking at me.
my stomach flutters, i think about what mia said. maybe i should try to explore my options?
"hm yes that would be very nice of you" i give her a seductive smile.
"okay sweet girl, i'll get your drink now"
i watch her from behind as the makes my drink. she writes on a little note and as she is about to pick it up off the counter, it falls on the floor. she bends over and grabs the note so i can see her arse right
in front of me, she stays in that position for a bit before standing back up and smirking. this girl knows what she's doing. i stare at her, absolutely stunned.
"clearly you can barely move, so why don't we skip the drinks and get going straight in the bathroom?" she chuckles.
as we wander to a free bathroom stall, all i can think about is vivian, i decide to get her off my mind and focus on the beauty in front of me.
she slams the stall door shut and holds me against the wall, grabbing my waist and kissing me powerfully, her lips feel so soft. she starts to slip down my skirt and before i know it, my pretty laced panties are on the floor too. she places kisses down my body until she is eventually at my sweet spot, she looks up at me.
"are you sure?" she asks.
"positive"
without question, her mouth travels down and she starts to eat me out, i grab onto her head desperately, letting myself grind on her tongue.
loud moans escape my mouth as her movements become faster and more thorough.
i scream her name as i feel myself letting go, she licks me up and pulls my clothes back on for me, my thighs shake and i can't even lift myself up.
"can you not walk anymore sweet girl?" she looks at me with big eyes.
i shake my head and she lifts me up, taking me out of the cubicle and places me onto the bathroom counter.
"let me tell tom i'm done for the night so i can drive you home. just stay here for me"
and with that, she walks off.
i'm left alone with my feelings, i wonder if this was really the right decision, i still can't get vivian out of my head, i wonder if i would feel better if i was with her.
before i can think too deeply, sara comes back in and carries me out and into her car, she kisses my forehead and we drive off.
i can't decide what i'm going to do with vivian, and with that thought, i drift off to sleep in sara's car seat.
note - team S or team V guys?
YOU ARE READING
shibby - an endless loop of toxic love
Fanfictionsiobhan is stuck between her @busive relationship with roger. she is confused as she leeps into the idea of balancing a life containing a certain nurse called annie.
