shibby - an endless loop of toxic love

odd one

authors note - a little break from all the tension so we're gonna focus on a little bit of the nurse from the other episode because char said there may be a future for them so i have to write about it obvs

setting- shibby has just left the house to leave for work.

as i get into my car, his words repeat in my head. nobody will know
nobody will know
nobody will know
nobody will know
then i realise he's right, nobody will ever know. i'm trapped inside this loop forever. i turn the radio up to silence my thoughts. once i get there, i park up and i notice several dirty stares from the parents, not  one who likes me. i walk into the office. nobody is in there. marjorie and autumn must be off, there wasn't much work to do and nobody really had any complaints so i figured i would just take a bit of an easy day today.

my thoughts are interrupted by phone as it starts buzzing repeatedly, a phone call from roger of course. i sigh before i answer the phone.
"why the fuck weren't u answering the phone"
"roger i have answered the phone" i say, confused
"only just now? i called you 5 times" he says with an irritated tone. shit he must have called me when i was in the rooms to check on the children.
"i'm sorry i was in the rooms to check on the children."
"that doesn't tell me why you didn't answer"
"roger ive explained to you already i was in the rooms with the children i couldn't have ans-"
i was interrupted by a parent walking into the office.
"roger i have to go now"
"you better call me back"
"yes i will call you back" i say as i hang up the phone. i take a deep breath out and close my eyes before looking at the parent. she looks at me back.
"oh sorry i didn't realise marjorie and autumn weren't in"
"yes. one of the staff members had a baby so they went to go see it."
"you know most people don't refer to a baby as an it" she says as she lets out a small chuckle.
what the fuck is this woman playing at?
"i'm not most people"
"clearly" she says awkwardly "either way this is jamie's reply slip so if you could just go ahead and put it with the others that would be great"
"yes that's fine" i say, as she's about the walk away my phone starts pinging loudly and constantly. she notices and gives me a look as the phone just keeps on going.
"persistent aren't they?" she says with a smirk.
"was there something else you needed?" i snap
"no, no thats all". she walks out the door. i pick up my phone and look at the 67 missed messages. for fucks sake roger.

after several unnecessary calls to roger, the day went by quite fast. i looked at the time and it was almost the time for the children to go home. how peaceful.

charlotte walks in to the office again. fuck i forgot about her and our last conversation. she looks at me with an odd expression on her face, i can't tell what she thinks.
"just letting you know jamie's still here"
"jamie? he was supposed to leave half an hour ago"
"yeah but we've only just closed so i can wait a bit longer. but on a different note...siobhan would it be okay if we talked about our last interaction? if someone is hurting you then please-"
"has she got any emergency contacts?" i change the topic quickly, i see charlotte sigh as she realises she's not going to get anywhere with that conversation
"no actually. no family, single mum, just moved here so no friends either" she says sympathetically
i roll my eyes. "i know that's supposed to pull a heart string  or two but all it's done is annoyed me even more because now i have to stay here even longer"
"didnt know u had any heartstrings shibby" she mutters while walking out.

even though i said i don't care i can't help but feel sorry for that mum, i wouldn't normally feel this way about anyone else, but something about her just makes me feel something.

half an hour went by slowly, i sat staring at the clock. until i hear someone rushing in through the door.
"where on earth were you?" i say, pretending to be irritated
"sorry, so sorry i got held up at work!" words she can barely make out because she is so out of breath
"your an hour late. what work emergency could possibly hold you up for that long?"
"cardiac arrest, i'm a nurse" i can sense an annoyance in her voice. i decide to give it up.
"fine, since you make such a measly amount anyway i guess i could try to wave the late fee"
"thank you" she sighs in relief and hand signals Jamie to come over.
"right we will be off now, i'll see you tomorrow, bye"
as she walks off i can't help but stare at her, not in my usual deathly look, more of an affectionate way. i can't help but notice her, this one's an odd one.