Irish Promises

Chapter Thirty-Four

Stasia

Present day...

I thought I'd been through some shit before, endured the worst I could probably experience at this point. But having to stand there and watch Blake get beaten right in front of me and having to force myself to care more about Irvin or well appear to care more about him was by far the most excruciating thing I have ever been through in my life.

The whole ordeal made it feel like I was being brutally torn apart from the inside. Even just seeing his face the moment we walked out of the restaurant was enough to have me throwing in the towel right there and then.

He looked utterly shattered and that broke me.

The only thing stopping me from doing that was the fact that I knew Hugh would explain everything to him and the twins. Tell them exactly what's happening and why.

Hopefully help them understand that nothing is how it looks. That I haven't done what they think I've done.

That I would never in a million years betray them like that.

Everything I've done these last few weeks has been for them, because I love them and because they're my family.

The original plan was to tell them as soon as we knew if all the ground work I'd put in over these last few weeks had worked. Me and Hugh knew if we told them before that there was every possibility they'd lose it and try to put an end to it all.

Blake especially.

They'd without a doubt hate the thought of me even being anywhere near Irvin and they'd be right to feel that way too. The only issue is either I do this to remove him from our lives once and for all or he'll never stop.

Manipulating me was only the start of his plans I'm sure of it, if he didn't get what he wanted there's not a doubt in my mind or Hugh's that he'd go to whatever lengths he has to in order to get what he wants.

And apparently I'm what he wants.

Men like Irvin are used to winning, getting exactly what they want so that's exactly what's happening.

In his eyes he's won.

I just guess my poker face has been better this time around.

It's not to say any of this has been easy though. I'd hated keeping this from them, feeling like even though I was only going near Irvin to manipulate him back it still felt like I was betraying them in some way.

Even that first time he kissed me made me feel sick to my stomach but walking into that house and seeing all the effort the twins had gone through just for me, that fucking broke me.

To see all that love and adoration but know I was keeping this from them ripped me apart there and then.

To the point it made me physically sick.

I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror or at them for that matter. That night Hugh told me if I wanted out I could stop there and then. That he'd figure out another way to get Irvin but I refused to back down.

Mainly because I can't wait to feel the satisfaction when I see the look on his face when he realises that the little game he's been playing has been for absolutely nothing.

When he realises I've just UNO'd his ass.

"Are you okay?" Irvin asks pulling me from my vindictive thoughts as he drives us up to the gates of the burrows and I know it's not a genuine question about my wellbeing.

No he's gaging where I'm at right now, where my head and heart are and if they're in the same place.

So I go with the easy answer.

"No" I admit turning my head to look at him, secretly admiring the slight bruise that's already starting to from just under his eye from where Blake managed to get a shot in first.

When he doesn't say anything I choose to elaborate.

"It wasn't exactly nice to watch that" I admit knowing keeping the truth in what I've said these last few weeks has been one of the main reasons he's believed me.

"I didn't have a choice Anastasia" he sighs and I know it's not completely the truth, he enjoyed it I saw it written all over his face.

He enjoyed rubbing it in Blake's face that he won. That he won me like I'm some toy, an object to be possessed.

"I know it just wasn't easy to watch, I said I didn't want anyone to get hurt" I say reaching my hand across to gently stroke his reddened skin.

He hums and nods as if he understands my anguish when I know he doesn't, he doesn't even care.

When we pull up outside my childhood home I stare up at it and make no move to get out even when he's gets out.

When he pops his head back in and asks "what's wrong?" I put the next step of our plan into place.

Me and Hugh knew there was every possibility that Irvin wasn't going to just let me walk out of that restaurant today, it was more likely that he'd insist I'd go with him, come back here so we'd planned for this outcome.

I or well we were prepared for this. We just hadn't factored Blake into it.

I have no idea if Irvin has doubts about my choice, if he suspects anything untoward going on and I probably won't until we either follow through with our plan or if he confronts me like he did last time.

At this point it could be either outcome so I have no choice but to stick to the plan ahead ride this out.

"I hate this place" I admit.

I do hate it, I hate everything about it, everything it stands for so the unease I've had every time I've come here hasn't had to be put on.

I think that's why he's believed me up until this point. Because a lot of my feelings have been true.

They've been me.

Sighing, he genuinely seems to be perplexed for a moment as he contemplates something and then to my surprise he's actually getting back into the car.

Pulling his phone out of his pocket he taps away for a few moments and when the response comes through he turns to face me.

"We'll stay in a suite at the Thorne Court until after the ball" he says his tone hard, clearly not that pleased about it.

And good because I hope he spends every single minute of the next few days worried and looking over his shoulder.