Jay Halstead sat at his desk looking blankly at the computer in front of him; he didn't feel right today, hadn't felt right for a few days, his hands trembled more than they usually did, his head had been hurting too and his sleep schedule was all over the place.
He pulled the top drawer of his desk open, grabbing his inhaler and taking a shakey inhale of it to try and clear his heavy chest. The young IT tech looked up when he heard a knock of his offfice door.
"Hey bud" Will whispered, walking into the room, sitting beside him
"Hi" Jay said quietly
"You ok, Mouse said you haven't been sleeping too good" Will said, pulling his younger brother away from his desk
"I don't know" was all Jay mumbled
"Is it your asthma or something else?" Will asked
"My anxiety is getting worse again, and I don't know what to do" Jay said, finally looking into his older brothers eyes
"Buddy, have you spoken to Dr Charles recently?" Will asked, taking Jays shaking hands into his own
"I can't get in, he's been trying to me in for three weeks" Jay sniffled
"Does Mouse know?" Will asked
"No, I don't want to bother him" Jay mumbled
"Jay, that man has loved you since you were 18, you've been married for 10 years, he's seen you through everything, you will never been bothering him" Will said gently, squeezing the younger Halsteads hands
"Can you get him?" Jay asked, wiping his eyes
"Of course, just hang tight ok?" Will said, standing up while pressing a gentle kiss to Jays head
Jay just kept silent, he watched his brother walk out the room, and had to stop himself from crying out for him to come back. His chest felt tighter now that he didn't have someone holding him down.
It felt like Will had been gone ages, and Jay was struggling to ground himself, his breathing was getting quicker and all he wanted was either his brother or his husband to come make it easier to breathe.
"Jay, hey baby, I need you to breathe babe" a voice spoke, but Jay couldn't get through the fog to reach his husband
"He's having a panic attack" Will realised, grabbing the younger mans inhaler from the table and placing it on Jays lips
"Babe, can you take two big breaths for me, you're having a panic attack but you're ok, just breath for me" Mouse guided, placing his right hand on Jays chest and gently massaging his husband
"There we go" Will breathed, sitting back on the spare chair Jay had in his office while Mouse stayed crouched between Jays legs
"I'm going to take him home" Mouse said, still massaging Jays chest to keep the man grounded
"I'll go let Hank know, and I'll see you guys tonight, Connor and I will bring takeout, and we'll watch movies like we always do" Will said, looking at his brother who was crying silently while holding to Mouse's left hand tightly
Will left the room, walking straight to the office of his little brothers boss, who watched with a worried frown on his face.
"Is he ok?" Hank asked, he'd seen the worried discussion that the older Halstead and Mouse had before both disappearing into Jays office
"He had a panic attack, Mouse is taking him home, and I'm going back to the hospital to see if I can get him an appointment sooner than three months, I don't think he has that long" Will said
"Has he spoken to anybody?" Hank asked, closing the file on his desk to look at his Godson
"No, he's been trying to get an appointment with Daniel for weeks, but like I said I'm off to speak go him" Will said, looking at the man who had raised him and his brother when their parents had been killed
Hank nodded, standing when he saw Mouse appear with Jay huddled close beside him, the smaller man was bundled in a blanket. Will and the Sergeant walked towards the couple, Jay looking up when he heard his Godfather clear his throat.
"You ok son?" Hank asked softly, reaching out for Jay who stumbled forward into the mans chest
"I'm taking him home, is that ok?" Mouse spoke softly
"Of course, just keep me in the loop" Hank said, squeezing Jay gently before pushing him back to his husbands arms with a gentle kiss to his Godsons forehead
Mouse nodded, wrapping an arm around Jays waist and guiding him down the stairs and out of the buzy 21st District. Will walked behind them, watching Jay stumble but smiling at how quick Mouse caught him and held him steady.
"We'll see you later Will" Mouse smiled, helping Jay into the car and closing the door behind him
"I'm going to get him an appointment, he needs to speak to someone" Will promised, hugging Mouse before jogging to his own car to get back to work
Watching Will drive away, Mouse got into the drivers side and looked at his husband who was now asleep, the blanket over his head and so hiding his face away from anyone looking into the car.
The drive home was silent, and Jay slept the whole way, letting out soft whimpers every so often but he didn't wake until the car came to a complete stop outside of their house.
"Greg" Jay whimpered
"I'm right here baby, you ok?" Mouse asked softly
"I'm sorry, I just didn't want to bother you" Jay sniffled, pulling the warm blanket tighter around his body
"Baby, you fought in a war for 10 years and saw some trauma, you're not a burden, I promise you" Mouse said gently
"But you did too, you don't suffer like me, you don't have nightmares everynight, you don't get scared by loud noises, you don't hate the scars all over your body" Jay listed, flinching as his husband opened the car door and slammed it shut
Jay just looked at the empty drivers seat and couldn't help but sob as he realised that he was now on his own.
"Baby, look at me" a voice said from beside him
"Mouse" Jay cried, "Don't leave me alone, please don't leave me"
"I'm not leaving you beautiful, I'm right here" Mouse soothed, unbuckling Jay and pulling him to his chest
"I just want it all to stop, the shaking, the nightmares, the no sleep, everything, it's too hard" Jay cried, clutching Mouse's shirt tightly as he cried
"Jay" Mouse soothed, holding Jay tightly as the youngee man cried
"I just want everything to be quiet" Jay admitted
"And it will be quiet, Will is talking to Dr Charles, we will get you help" Mouse said, stepping back slightly, running a hand through Jays hair and wiping the tears from his face
"I love you" Jay sniffled
"I love you too, let's get you inside, into something more comfortable, Will and Connor are bringing take out on their way home" Mouse said gently, helping Jay out of the car and walking him to the house
