loml - Walker Scobell

17. ex

all 3 of us were actually hanging out again. it felt real. walker has been home for 4 months already and it was starting to feel all real now. i was coming to a realization that my brother is really dead and he isnt coming back.

i visit him at least once a week, but i feel myself progressively getting happier. when i go and talk to him at the cemetery it makes me feel better, it makes me feel like hes still here, just for a moment, but i know hes truly gone. i know that, i do, but when i talk to him at his grave about everything that goes on in my life i just know hes listening happily in a better place, and that makes me feel good.

aryan and walker were making me go to this party tonight, (i know the last one didn't end well), but since walkers here i won't do anything like that again. like last time, i want to have fun and try to take my mind off wesley for a bit.

i was getting ready to taylor swift, putting some very light makeup on and mascara. i didn't feel like putting a dress on today so i wore light washed baggy jeans with a tight black tube top. my phone buzzed in the back of my pocket with a text in our groupchat, saying they were almost here to pick me up. i finished my makeup and i straightened my hair earlier so i slipped on my shoes and went downstairs to wait by the door. i put my phone back into my back pocket as i was met with my mom in the kitchen.

"hi honey," she smiled lightly and sniffled. my mom wasn't even close to healing yet. none of us would be fully healed, but im glad i made some progress.

"hi mom." i made a quick decision in my head and gave her a tight hug, "im going out with aryan and walker."

"have fun baby, your dad and i are staying in tonight."

i nodded and went out the front door onto the porch as walkers car pulled into my driveway. i got into the backseat since aryan was already in the front seat.

"do you want to sit up here liv?" aryan quickly asked before i shut the back car door.

"no thats okay," my lips curled into a tiny smile as i shut the door and buckled my seat belt.

i looked up and caught walker looking at me in the mirror for a second before pulling out. him and aryan were both wearing baggy jeans too so we were all matching. they weren't wearing tube tops though. i laughed to myself a little too loud and slapped my hand over my mouth.

"whats so funny back there?" walker cocked an eyebrow and looked at me through the mirror.

"nothing, just picturing funny images of you both wearing tube tops in my head," i giggled again.

"is that what that is?" aryan turned around and pointed to my top.

i nodded and he laughed.

"i don't know about you walker but i think i would look sexy in one of those," he held his hands up to his chest and wiggled around.

i laughed so hard and so did walker.

"oh god," i said in between laughs.

after we laughed harder than i imagined, walker interrupted and suddenly stopped laughing.

"i like just heard that they will be playing like 80s and 90s music at the party just so you guys know, i don't know why its that specific but," he said.

i nodded, "im okay with that. older music is good, wesley liked it."

everyone went silent and so did i. i bit my lip and changed the subject, "well its not like a costume party right? like people are dressing like that? cause none of us are prepared."

"i actually don't know. i hope not." walker sucked in a breath.

"what if we just walk in and were the only ones dressed casually? we will stick out like a sore thumb." aryan spoke up.