loml - Walker Scobell

31. i can't do this

"i know i just said its exhausting, but i really don't want to leave." i admitted as we all got in the hotel elevator with our luggage.

"this has been very fun liv thank you for inviting me," walker smiled at me.

i smiled back and hugh spoke, "we're going to miss you liv." he wrapped his arm around ryan.

"we're? you guys are going to hang out without me?" i put a hand on my chest and pretended to be hurt.

"i-" hugh looked at ryan.

"we would never!" ryan put a hand on his chest too, taken back.

"no its fine im kidding," i laughed and the elevator dinged, stopping and opening.

we all walked out with our suitcases rolling across the hotel lobby, and we got into our suv after shoving through paparazzi.

~

"another party?" i asked him.

"yes i know," walker said through the phone.

"but we just got home," i whined and threw myself onto my bed.

i heard walker moving around on the call, then heard him fall onto his bed too and sigh, "aryan really wants us to come because we haven't seen him in like a week and a half."

"honestly im just going to throw on some sweats and an off shoulder t-shirt," i admitted to him and held the phone to my mouth, "should i do a slick back or keep my hair down?"

"i like when you pull your hair back," he said and i could just sense him smiling even though i couldn't see him.

"slick back it is," i said and smiled to myself too, "can you come pick me up? i will be ready by the time you get back here."

"of course my love," he said and i felt my cheeks get hot, "leaving now."

i heard car keys jingle on the line and then he hung up before i said another word. i set my phone down and got up, putting on sweatpants and a comfy, off the shoulder t-shirt that i cut the neck off of. i pulled my hair back and slipped my shoes on. i sat for a couple minutes and scrolled through instagram, my fingers taking me to my comment section. i took a deep breath and scrolled through them, looking at all the hateful words and threats towards me. these have been going on for a while now, mostly since ive been dating walker. i have always gotten hate, but not this bad. i got some when wesley died, people blaming me or putting it on me. it was cruel and hurtful, it made me want to cry. i have cried over it before, many times. i didn't want to deal with it anymore. i sucked in another shaky breath and shut my phone off, shoving it in my pocket.

the doorbell rang and i wiped the single tear that rolled down my cheek. i ran down the stairs and walker greeted me at the door.

"have you been crying? are you okay? what's wrong love?" he asked and placed a hand on the side of my face, looking into my eyes.

"what? no, im fine!" i shrugged off his hand, "let's just go okay?"

he looked skeptical as i walked away from him and got into his car myself. i buckled my seatbelt and he got into the drivers seat. he didn't say a word and handed me the aux cord. i shook my head in response, not feeling like putting on music. i just wanted to get through this little party that aryan wanted us to join in on then go back home and sleep.

it is not a little party. we pulled up to the address and there was trash and people all out on the front lawn and around the house. walker parked and we got out, pushing our way through the crowds and making our way inside. we looked around for aryan but no such luck. music was blasting through our ears as we decided to sit down on a couch. walker wrapped his arm around me and i leaned into him. we sat like that for a while just watching all the people around us dance and make out and whatnot. suddenly, aryan walked up to us.