You're Like A French Fry (a transgender love story)

Night

"Now go to bed miss." 

My mother's words stung me. 

I did not disobey her orders. Even though they weren't directed to me

They were directed to her dead daughter. I'm her second son, the man who killed her only daughter. 

I wanted to scream out, to her, that I wasn't her daughter. I fucking murdered that sweet innocent girl. I didn't mean to, my actions spoke louder than her shrill screams. I felt bad, but I had to do what was done.

Five stages of grief. The first one, deny. My moms have been denying the fact that their daughter is gone.

I tell them who I am. Yet they refuse to agree. It hurts me. 

They keep on "making mistakes" but I don't believe it

When my mom came out as trans, everyone instantly clicked, and referred to her as the woman she is.

When I came out as trans, they didn't 

I didn't understand their bullshit.

Now I lay here, tears rolling down my cheek, bugs eating me alive. I want my parents to understand. Hell my brother understands... AND HE'S MY HALF BROTHER!

I stand up, and walk over to my window. I open it, and lean down on my window seal, returning to my thoughts.

I never understood the purpose of misgendering and dead naming. 

It just hurts the person you're doing that to. Both inside, and most often, outside.

"Do my parents know how many lives have killed themselves because of misgendering and dead naming? Thousands. More. I could fall right into that suicide trap. I don't want to, but I sure as hell am close to falling."

I whisper to the stale night air. 

My hearts beating, as I hear the sounds of someone.

"Hello?" I whisper loud enough for whoever's out there to hear. 

"Lee- that's your name, correct?" A shadowy figure unleashes from the shadows.

"Yeah, but be careful, my parents set up cameras, and right here where my room is is where one of the camera's line of sight is." I inform, softly.

My heart has slowed down, to a gentle rhythm. 

"I'll be careful. I'm James. How about you come out here? I wanna hangout with you, the awesome guy."

"Pfft, me, an awesome guy?" I spoke in sarcasm as I carefully exited out of my room.

I walked over to where James was, and he practically jumped into my arms.

"Ahem." I hugged him back as I placed him down.

"Let's go!"

"Go where?" I asked as he dragged me behind him.

Once we got into the sidewalk, he let me walk all by myself. Instead of him dragging me.

"So, why you wanna hang with me?" I asked.

"Saw you at school last year, and got your address from someone else, and waited until the perfect moment to come over and ask you out."

"On a date?" I muffled.

"Yeah, a date. I wanna get to know you more!" He kissed my cheek 

HE KISSED MY CHEEK. 

"I'm trans, very into Green Day, and I have no life!"

"Until now!" He started tickling me. I erupted into laughter.

I started tickling him back.

He started laughing.

"Wanna climb this roof with me?" James stopped to point at a roof.

"Sure!"

------_____------

We hung out, and we were this close 🤏 to making out. Oh so close!

I looked at his face as he walked towards my house. I wanted to kiss him, or maybe that was just my 3am thoughts.

"Wanna make out?" He slammed me against a wall. 

"Lube. I mean I'd love to!"

"Well, what are yo-"

I kissed him. He kissed back.