Far Away

[29] Save Your Feelings

Logan

I'm still sitting in the bath with the shower head running. I haven't moved since I got in. I don't know how long I've been here, but I do know I'm numb from the cold water. I hear Connor's room door slam and even though I'm already frozen, I freeze. I hear him call out for me.

"Logan?" I hear his footsteps approaching the door and seconds later he slowly opens it. He walks in and I hear him gasp. I look over at him and he actually looks worried. He rushes over to me and turns off the water.

"Holy shit Logan, what's wrong with you? Are you trying to give yourself hypothermia?" He grabs a towel and picks me up.

I'm naked, but I don't try to cover up. Nothing about my body parts are a secret anymore. He takes me into his room and sits on his bed with me cradled in his lap. He rocks me back and forth rubbing me quickly with the towel.

"You're fucking freezing, Logan. What's wrong?" I stare up at him and my eyes probably look dead inside. He stills and tenses up. He speaks lowly.

"What happened? You look like death." I snort and find my voice.

"Feel like death..." He sighs and looks wearily at me.

"What happened to you?" For some reason, his concern pisses me off and I snap.

"Like you don't fucking know. You two were in this together so I'm not surprised you share me sexually too!" Connor's eyes widen.

"Whoa, Logan, calm down. I have no clue what you're talking about." I grit my teeth and pull the towel tighter around me and mumble to myself.

"It's not like you care what your dad does to me anyway." He widens his eyes and growls at me.

"What the hell do you mean by that? Did he touch you?" I scoff again and find betrayal tears running down my face. Connor stands up and lays me on the bed. He moves around the room like an angry tornado getting me clean clothes.

"That sick old perverted man! I mean I know what I'm doing is fucked yo too, but he's 43 fucking years old! And you're 16!" He continues to talk to himself as he throws me another pair of sweats and a smaller shirt. I don't hesitate to put them on. Connor stops and stares at me and talks in a soft voice.

"Did he go all the way?" I nod my head and look down. He hisses through his teeth and walks over to me. I look up at him and there's that emotion in his eyes again... Love. I look away disgusted with that emotion from him.

"I'm sorry Logan. I lo-" I cut him off.

"Yeah whatever. I don't need an apology from you and I don't love you. Just stop wasting your breath saying it." I walk away from him and stand by the window. There's more snow everywhere. I groan and close my eyes.

When is my life gonna get better?

~•~

I lay on the bed staring at the ceiling as Connor sits at his computer desk doing homework. I sigh and turn on my side deciding I might as well go to sleep. Just as I close my eyes, I hear the front door slam and Connor abruptly stands up. I open my eyes staring at him as he walks to his door with an angry look. I sit up and cock an eyebrow at him.

"What are you doing?" He whips his head at me with his hand on the doorknob.

"Going to have a chat with my dad." I widen my eyes and sit up.

"I don't think that's a good idea Connor." He snorts and opens the door.

"What he did was disgusting and wrong! We had made an agreement that he wouldn't touch you in that way and he broke that agreement. So I'm going to confront him about it." I roll my eyes.

"You're contradicting yourself. What you've done is disgusting too.!" He snaps at me.

"That's different Logan. I'm 16, you're 16! He's 43! You can't possibly look me in the eye and say there's nothing wrong with that." I look down and he takes a deep breath.

"That's what I thought." With that he leaves the room locking the door. I hear him stomp down the stairs and yell at his dad. I jump off the bed and put my ear to the floor and listen in on their muffled altercation...

altaylor49