𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐝𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬. - 𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐥 {✓}

𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐨 𝐤𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠

love is scary, and y/n l/n can confirm that.

some say that she's emotionally distant, some say that she's spoiled rotten to never glance their way. almost everyone she meets would have the same thought process about her; 'she's someone who looks like she doesn't want to be in a relationship'. however, only her close friends from high school would attest to that, knowing how far the rabbit hole goes in terms of the girl and the abyss we all call romance.

in reality, she's scared. 

the (h/c) haired girl couldn't count how many times she got her heart broken due to false hopes, wrong people, and loving too much. it was a never ending cycle of giving without receiving anything- loving someone until her eyes would cry as she'd plead the person to stay. 

maybe she's just unlovable.

drowning her misery in school and alcohol became her coping mechanism- kissing random strangers in the heat of the night as her mind is fogged with liquor helped her in more ways than one. 

if she can't feel loved sober, then at least she can feel wanted when drunk.

it didn't bother her that the intentions of those around her in the club isn't innocent, she relishes in the attention she's been craving from all the past relationships that made her feel impossible to be adored. all she ever wanted was to be looked at like fine art, to be told sweet nothings in the midst of the crowd- to be held with the fear of her breaking.

y/n wanted to be loved the way she loves them.

god was her only witness to the times she'd cry to herself, asking what sin she committed in her last life that she had to atone for. she'd beg until she'd pass out of exhaustion, before eventually giving up on the thought of romance completely. the closest thing she'd had to feeling love was when a certain song plays and she's stuck off to her imagination.

sad, i know.

the girl is currently sitting outside of the grocery store alone, waiting for boothill to finish his shopping as she stared at the chattering couples in front of her. who would expect that a small town like this would have so many couples? (e/c) eyes glanced from one pair to another, spotting the differences between each lovebirds with a hint of smile on her face.

it's cute, she thinks. how one seemed to be on their first date, and the other seemed to be married long enough to bicker lovingly while on their stroll. human beings are rather simple, it seems- as their happiness depends on their partner's emotions.

the unwelcomed feeling of insecurity washed over her as she watched cupid pair one person after the other, wondering when is her time to get shot by the arrow of love. rather, when will the person she loves accepts her for who she is.

she knows she isn't perfect- nobody is. everybody is unique in their own ways, and it's a fact that she likes on everyone. she likes how emma is always so cheerful despite carrying heavy sacks of feed, she likes how stan- despite the man being silent most of the time, would listen to her rant about the heat. she likes how-

"ya sure ya don't wanna come inside?" y/n was snapped out of her thoughts at the sound of the familiar voice, turning her head to the side as her eyes met with carmine ones. it seemed as if she was stuck yet again in her own mind, not realizing that the bell chimed as boothill stood beside her. 

his usual grin was gone, replaced by a small frown as his brows furrowed, causing his fair skin to crease as the man pointed inside the grocery store.

"it's hot out, wouldn't wantcha to pass out 'ere." 

it took everything in her not to chuckle at how cute he looked, his cocky attitude missing replaced with one of concern. it was unlike him, really, and she knows that too. maybe the heat got to him first before it did her and melted his brain off.