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6.1. Too late (Lover x Rep)

A/N; the long awaited angst- wrote this on my notes page while on a train because there's no signal at all 😍. I made Rep kind of a bitch in this, forgive me.

Lover's perspective;

I paced my room, checking my phone for the thousandth time as I awaited a text, or a call back, anything, from Rep. She had left to the bar a few hours ago, slamming out of the door after our argument. It was stupid, petty, and normally we would have already kissed and made up by now, but with her out, I wondered whether she might still be mad at me. Had I done something more? Maybe during the argument I had been too annoying, maybe she was sick of me crying over stupid things.

Well I had cried, I was the kind of person who cried when I got angry. It wasn't unusual for people to take sympathetically to me even whilst I was angry, which usually pissed me off more.

So, I was waiting, checking the time and noticing that it was nearly one am, which made me want to punch something. Normally I get to bed at a humane hour, because if I don't get at least 8 hours of sleep a night then I'm a bit of a mess.

Finally, after what felt like hours of waiting and pacing my floor, I heard the door slam. I rushed down the stairs, the sight greeting me not an unexpected one, yet still disappointing. Rep stood in the doorway, evidently holding onto the frame for stability but attempting to pass it off as looking cool.

"Rep, you're finally home," I exclaimed, walking forwards to grab her arm and help her upstairs. "Let's get you up to bed,"

"Don't need to go to fucking bed," She scoffed, slurring her words together. "I'm not a fucking baby,"

"You're just drunk and upset," I stupidly pointed out, ushering her up the stairs. She wandered up, quite out of it if I'm being honest. When I got her into my bedroom she plonked down on the bed.

"Do you want me to get you some pyjamas? You won't be comfortable sleeping in that," I suggested. She shook her head defiantly. "Okay, at least take your shoes off then, I'll-"

"Lover. What do you not understand about leave me the fuck alone?" She said angrily. I ducked my head. She never called me Lover, always a pet name or a shortening or a pet name. Never ever Lover. "Jesus you're so annoying,"

"You don't mean that," I whispered miserably, wiping a tear away from my eye. I always worried about being too interested, too passionate, or that people would get sick of me. Maybe Rep was just getting sick of me too, like everyone else.

"Oh and now you're crying. Bloody overdramatic-"

"REP STOP," I cried, raising my voice. She looked at me, surprised. "I'll go sleep in the guest room," I whispered.

"Don't fucking blame this on me, I know you will," she said, and I noticed the slurred edge to her voice drop off. Maybe she wasn't as drunk as I thought. 

"I think I have every right to blame this on you, because you're being a real bitch," I said, standing my ground. I had never called her out while we were arguing before, which was perhaps why she looked so surprised when I stood up for myself.

"You can't call me a bitch, at least I'm not overemotional and I don't cry at everyone minor inconvenience. Grow the fuck up," she stood up, taking the higher ground, literally. I bit my lip to stop myself from making any noise because maybe she wouldn't notice that I was on the verge of breaking down.

"Rep can we please just stop arguing and finish this in the morning, there's really no point to going back and forth," I said, my voice strained and sounding about an octave higher than normal. She just rolled her eyes and scoffed at me again. "You think I'm over emotional?? Well at least I have a better coping mechanism than pretending nothing ever happened. You can't fix all of your problems like that, but why would you ever accept help? You need help Reputation, you're sick," I spat out.

She looked taken aback. "You bitch," she said, looking livid.

"I-I'm sorry Reppy I didn't mean it," my eyes widened as I realised what I had said. "I'm really sorry don't be mad at me Reppy,"

"Don't be mad? YOU CAN'T JUST FIX THINGS BY CRYING AND APOLOGISING LOVER, GOD!" I didn't notice, but she had taken a few steps forwards so we were now nearly nose to nose. I shrunk back, scared. As I stepped backwards to give myself space, Rep moved with me, and I felt more tears flow down my cheeks, shaking my head frantically. I felt my back hit the wall and looked up at Rep, whose anger had overtaken her.

She started to ramble about how incompetent I was, waving her arms exaggeratedly. I felt trapped, I couldn't move any further away or distance myself, and when her hand swung dangerously close to my face I squealed and crumpled to the floor, covering my head and curling into a ball. She slammed out of the room and left me sobbing on the floor.

Reputation's perspective;

The next morning I woke up and immediately felt dread creeping into me. I groaned as I remembered all the things I had said to Lover. Fuck. I had really hurt her feelings. The look on her face when she broke haunted me, she looked so terrified. I smacked myself in the face, knowing I deserved it for being so incredibly bitchy and angry that she thought I would hurt her.

Obviously, I would never. Lover was my whole world, and I would never do anything to hurt her on purpose. At the bar, I had met an ex friend who I got into an argument with, and she brought up some stuff in my past that I didn't particularly want to think about.

That was no excuse for how I acted, I had absolutely no reason to be that mean to Lover, and I knew I would have to work to earn her trust back after that. She had every reason to break up with me if I'm being honest.

Even though I wanted to crawl back into my bed and sleep and never wake up, I knew that Lover would already be up so I walked to her bedroom and knocked on the door gently.

"Come in," came a tiny voice from the other side of the door. I winced, pushing it open. Lover was sitting in a ball on the floor, right where I left her last night. I deserved death. "Oh. It's you," she whispered.

"Baby I'm so sorry," I closed the door and dropped to the floor beside her. "I'm so, so sorry. Can I touch you?" I wanted to make sure she was okay with anything before I tried it.

She bit her lip, on the edge of tears, and nodded. I wrapped my arms around her and she curled into me, sitting on my lap and sobbing into my shirt.

"Hey, baby it's okay, you're okay," I soothed. "you're okay, I'm here now."

"You scared me Reppy," she sobbed. "I was scared, you were so angry,"

"I'm so so so so sorry my love I'm beating myself up for making you upset. You didn't deserve any of it I feel terrible," I apologised.

"I forgive you," She sniffed.

"But I was horrible to you," I said gently. "I don't deserve that."

"I thought I was going to lose you," she burrowed her head further into my neck. "It's bad that I forgive you, but I can't talk about it yet. I just need you to hold me,"

"Okay Love. Come to bed?" I suggested. "Did you get any sleep last night?"

She shook her head and I sighed sadly, standing up with her still clinging to me and walking over to the bed. I laid down with her, tucking the covers over us both as best I could with her arms around me.

"We need to talk about this when you wake up again, hmm?" I said.

"I know," she said simply. "You're not getting off that easily,"