15. You potato (Lover x Reputation)

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Second half is inspired by a fic I read on ao3 so if it seems similar to smth youve read thats why

NOTHING BUT FLUFF WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME 

At the party; 

Though the party is still going strong, Rep pushes through the throng of people, sliding herself into a booth next to Lover, her girlfriend, who slings her legs over Rep's lap. 

"Hey baby," Rep murmurs, as Lovers arms snake around her neck and a kiss is pressed to her burgundy painted lips. "Big turn out tonight, huh?"

"Mmm, I want them all to go home so we can be together," Lover mumbles.

"Princess we're at a bar, we gotta go home too," Rep slips an arm around Lover's back to pull her fully onto her lap, thighs pressing into the sequins of her dress. 

"Nah, w'can stay... right here. Go t' sleep on th table."

"Sweet girl you're going to be sleeping on my lap soon, wanna call an uber home?" 

"Nope!" She pops the P. "I's only pretending. Come get a drink with me," 

"You have had quite enough to drink tonight missy, so no more alcohol for you. I, however, will finish this off for you." Rep takes Lover's vodka cranberry, still full, for herself. The pair sit, and Rep has a number more drinks, before

"Maybe we should g'home now, th'res no people left!"

"Mm, 's a good idea, grab my-" A hiccup. "Phone 'nd call 'n uber,"

"Good idea... oh look! Midnights! w'can go home wif her," Lover skips over to the car, dragging Rep behind her. She is surprisingly stable for a drunk person in heels. 

"You two want a ride?"

"Mhm!" Lover giggles, tumbling into the backseat with her girlfriend right behind her. "Look- y'got somefink on your face!"

"Whaddisit?"

"it's- um- I forget wh't to say now..." Lover pouts. "s'posed to be a funny jok- oh! oh! I r'member, i's pretty, you got pretty on your face." 

"Noo, you got more prettier on your face, b'cause you're... forget the word, 's a big one," Rep furrows her brow. "Gorjus, 's the one. Cus you're sooo preddy,"

"I love you Reppy," Lover takes an index finger and boops Rep's nose. "But nod just because you're pretty," She adds seriously. "Because you're funny, 'n you're r'lly nice to me, 'nd- um, funny,"

"Y'already said funny, you silly goose!"

"Y're thesilly goose! Woof- wait no, quack- I think- what sound do gooses- goosi- um- gaese? Wh's the plural of goose?"

"Hehe, you said gays, th's me- and, you, w're the gay gooseses"

"No Reppy w'need to focus, need'ask- ask theinternet what a multiple goose thingy is called,"

"Think- 'think's geese-"

"Oh! Oh! I goddit, i's a gaggle of geez!"

"I'like the gay gooses more, hey Midnights, wanna be a gay goose?"

"Shut. the fuck. up. I'm never offering you two a ride home again, jesus,"


At home; 

"Lover." 

"Yeah baby?" 

"Can I ask you a question?" 

"Always Reppy," 

"What's your favourite type of potato?" 

"Reputation it is 1am in the morning." 

She's right. It is 1am in the morning, they came in late and are both arguably still tipsy (bottom line, they've barely sobered up. Laying on their shared bed, side by side instead of cuddling for once, both staring at the ceiling, hands intertwined. 

The room is dark, save for a few dimmed, twinkling  fairy lights that are probably running out of battery. 

"That's not an answer." Rep reasons, "And don't you bring out the full names."

"Please go to sleep," 

There is silence, and Lover thinks that maybe she actually convinced her girlfriend to attempt sleeping, but- 

"Mine's smashed, by the way, thanks for asking- but only like, really crispy and with salt on them-" 

"Go to sleep Reppy," Lover giggles sleepily. 

"Not until you disclose your favourite way to cook potatoes,"

"Oh my god you are an actual potato," 

"Did you seriously just call me a potato?"

"Of course I did you potato," A giggle, eyes shining as their heads turn to look at the other. A tender kiss is exchanged, sweet but also stupid, Lover's nose crinkling as she grins childishly. 

"Now I want potatoes," Rep pouts. "I'm going to get up and make potatoes, you should come with me," She grins, 

"I repeat- it is 1am in the fucking morning," Lover says wearily. "Please go to sleep."

"You go through the 5 stages of grief every night trying to get me to sleep, don't you," Rep collapses back onto the bed, snuggling into Lover this time. "First stage is denial, you're like Okey- dokey Reppy, sleepy time-"

"I do not say "sleepy time" Rep-"

"And the second phase is anger, that's when you pretend to get annoyed at me, then you try and bargain with me- hey, for future reference, smashed potatoes work as a good bribe- wait why did I tell you that- anyways-"

"Oh god you are literally a five year old boy," Lover groans, face palming. 

"Ah, there's the depression, so if I am correct, then the next should be-"

"Acceptance, yup, I'm familiar," Lover nods, removing her head from her hands. "How about this, if you don't go to sleep right now I'm not cuddling you at all tonight."

"Hey I don't remember hearing about a punishment phase, that's not fair!"

"I'm not answering you anymore," Lover rolls her eyes jokingly and turns away. 

"Noooo that's no fair!" A giggle, legs intertwined, Lover's legs pulled in closer to Rep's. "you don't love me,"

"Of course I love y-"

"Ha-ha, got you to answer me," A high pitched giggle, raise in pitch brought on by the alcohol they had consumed earlier.  

"Fuck youuu," Lover turns around, poking her tongue out at Rep momentarily before giggling yet again and pulling her girlfriend close. 

"Love you"

"I love you too. I'll make you potatoes in the morning." 

"You promise?"

"Of course you potato. Potatoes for breakfast- tomorrow can be a fucking potato-fest if you want, breakfast lunch and dinner."

"Really???" Rep opens her eyes again excitedly. "I love potatoes."

"I know you do Reppy, but you gotta sleep before you eat them, or they'll all dissapear."

"Noo I don't want the potatoes to go away, I'm going to sleep." 

"Okay, you silly little potato."

"Love you too."

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