PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LET ME GET WHAT I WANT - DEFTONES
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I was sitting just on the side between the wall and the toilet seat I was sitting on, my head resting against the stall door and my breathing ragged as I watched the man flick through some money before tossing it at me. I leaned down, grabbing a few of the bills of the floor.
The door could be heard thudding shut once he left, my eyes following up to the mirror where I could see myself in the stall.
My head felt heavy, as if I could pass out at any moment. My fingers were tingling, and I couldn't really feel my body. I was numb again, and I hated feeling like that.
Getting up fully was the hardest part. While gathering myself and pulling up my thong, I noticed the blood on the lace. I looked away, sucking in a deep breath before I slowly stumbled out of the stall. Once I reached the sink, I started to retch and vomit.
My eyes closed tight, gripping the end of the sink and spitting out the reflux that had come up. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand, my whole body trembling without my awareness. When I looked in the mirror, I was shaken. I didn't feel it, but I was.
There was bruising around my neck that splayed like a necklace. It was the same with my cheek, jawline, and wrists.
I left the bathroom feeling so shitty and worthless, knowing that I had just given myself to a stranger and gotten used and thrown around for money.
"Hey! Kid!" Raymond called out as he came over, his arm wrapping around my shoulders. "What's wrong? Did Dixon fuck you too hard?You look hazed." He smirked.
Tears were running down my face once I realised how much I was paid to test my limits in the bathroom, but I didn't say anything.
"Don't reply then. We're going to a party, got it? Maybe you can spread your legs there." He said, his hand wrapping around my wrist with ease as he led me out of the club. I stumbled behind him, panting quietly "Fuck you," I muttered.
He just smirked again and got me into the car. "Use a condom next time. You're gonna stain my fucking seats." He grumbled, nodding towards his car seat.
I looked down at the bloody semen on my skirt, and a flood of panic washed over me. I put my hands in my lap, gritting my teeth and putting my head against the window as I felt the dull ache start to form once I sat down.
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When we got to the party, it was a loud house bash. There were adults instead of teenagers, and they were all drinking and smashing stuff around as if they were kids.
I didn't want to get out of the car, scared I would leak all over myself and have a stranger's essence dripping down the back of my legs while I walked.
This was the first time this had happened. As in, bleeding, after doing it. And I was scared. I wanted my brother more than ever, but all I could do was cry.
"Come on, get out of the fucking car already! You've already fucked up my seats, what now? Crying like a little girl?!" Raymond groaned in frustration, slamming his hand against the roof of the car. He stepped away, pulling open the door and tugging me out by my upper arm.
It was as if there were nails in my throat, waiting for the moment where I'd try to apologise but just end up choking on my tears. But I didn't.
YOU ARE READING
The girl next door, - ᴛ.ᴋᴀᴜʟɪᴛᴢ
RomantizmA raw and revealing look into the urban adolescence of 2007. Sex, drugs, and mischief, including five foreigners looking for any kind of colour in their no-good lives. ★ »-☠︎︎-+> 𝖛𝖔𝖙𝖊𝖋𝖔𝖗𝖐𝖆𝖚𝖑𝖎𝖙𝖟 1 on #tomka...