Eclipse: Time Thief (Romantasy)

42. Forgotten Dreams

Nash and I had moved for one another at the same time. I jumped back and slammed into him while he grabbed me from behind. We had nowhere to run, not in this white room, not in the Sacred School, not in our entire world.

"You foolish, foolish children." Flare stomped forward. "I have given you enough chances."

"Why?" I couldn't draw in a breath. My voice came out as a squeak. "Why do you have this disguise?"

Flare–Dr. Henderson–rolled her eyes. "Why, why, why. I always have to explain myself to you."

What did she mean? She left me wondering all the time. When had she truly explained herself to me?

"I appreciate the sanctity of life," she said. "Rather than scrap this world, I've been speeding up your development until your society is ready for this power, so I can finally gather reliable data. But you always stand against me. I will no longer tolerate it."

I had so many questions, I couldn't think of just one to ask. So I stared helplessly with my jaw slack. Nash's grip on me tightened like he could possibly protect me.

"This was your final chance, Max. I tested you. I figured that's what gods do, right? They test their followers."

My voice shook. "You really are insane."

"I wanted you to see Piercey. He always talks sense into you. So, I let you go to the Sacred School. I really thought after all these years of him working with me, he would be able to turn you around. Now I know there's no hope for you. You're a danger to this experiment, and that makes you a danger to this world."

"Don't you dare threaten her." Nash pulled me beneath his arm.

Flare sighed. "Oh, sweet Nash. You know you can't save her from me. It makes me so sad for you."

I gripped Nash's arm. "He doesn't belong to you, Flare. Not you as a demon or a god or a woman. How pathetic that you would stoop to fucking your own subjects. You disgust me."

"Please. He's a big boy. He can handle a couple drunk nights with me. You're the one who always ruins him. Besides, he did it as a spy. He wanted to manipulate me. Don't feel sorry for him when he simply knows how to use his charms."

"Why do you say always? What do you mean I always ruin him?" I asked. "What are you talking about?"

Dr. Henderson had never looked so much like a god as she did in Flare's form, lighting up the white room with her fiery heat, no longer having to hide her power. Vengeance burned in her eyes. "It's not shocking that you haven't figured it out, Max, but I am a little disappointed in Piercey." She glanced between Nash and myself. "I've never told any of you before. I'm not sure I should."

Color sparked over the white wall to our right and it came to life with a meadow of daffodils. Nash and I stood there together in the image, his hair longer, mine shorter, a slithering scar crawling down his left arm.

My stomach churned. This had never happened.

Then I heard my voice and chills crashed through my body.

"Flare said she can take me through the Door of the Gods without being on the mountain. I have to go."

The Nash on the wall drew me closer. "Not without me."

"Just say bye and stop fighting me."

The look in his eyes was the same as when I'd just left him. "You're so stubborn."

I stood onto my toes and kissed his lips. The room went silent while we melted into each other's arms on the wall.

The left wall flashed with another scene while the one on the right continued to play silently.

"What the fuck." Nash stumbled back a step beside me.

On the other wall, we faced Flare in the halls of the Sacred School. Both of us were splattered with blood. I held a wound on my side while Nash looked like he struggled to stand.

"You'll never win." Flare's voice flooded the room, but it wasn't her speaking here in front of us today. "Stand down."

My stomach lurched. I doubled over, almost getting sick. This couldn't be.

"Enough Flare." Nash lifted his voice over the movie playing for us. "Let us out of this mindfuck palace. Now!"

The images playing on the screen gave me that feeling. That feeling of a dream I couldn't quite remember.

I didn't want to believe what my mind was screaming at me. Couldn't believe it.

"We've done this before." I whispered it. Why hadn't I considered it? This was a simulation. There was no reason Flare wouldn't run it more than once.

Flare's image faded into Dr. Henderson once more. She knelt down in front of me, voice unnervingly soft. "This isn't the first iteration of the experiment. It failed twice. You've destroyed your world both times." Long fingers reached out to my chin and lifted my face to hers. "The council would have wanted to shut you down the first time. I loved your world, though. I saw potential. So I saved you. I restarted your world twice without them knowing. This is the third time you've all lived. I'd hoped you would finally work with me."

I couldn't wrap my mind around what she said. It was way too much for Nash. He sank down to his knees, staring at one of the walls where we had finally let go of one another.

"The first time, when I saw you rebelling, I tried to be kind and to win you over with compassion. The second, I did the opposite. I was hard and cruel. This time, I decided to simply be myself. No matter what I do, we always end up here in the end. This time, I even made sure Nash traveled with you so you would come to your senses together."

"It can't be true." Though I knew it could be, probably was, I just couldn't accept it.

"But look at you. You and Nash are such close souls." Dr. Henderson smiled wistfully. "You always find your way to one another. I tried to keep you apart last time, hoping it would help. I've given up on that."

Nash and I had been together before. It felt right to hear it. As disturbing and unthinkable as it all was, thinking about him finding his way to me every time set something in place inside of me. As if we too were entangled, our souls imprinted upon each other, bound through space and time and something beyond that. This draw I'd felt, his feeling of the dream he couldn't remember, these were the artifacts of a life once lived and a bond that ran much deeper than what we could remember.

Dr. Henderson shook her head. "I never wanted to kill you, Max. You love this world. You just won't stop fighting me. The first time, you told the world the truth, and chaos descended. The second you tried so hard to kill me that you lost control and destroyed everyone around you. What will happen this time? Will you ruin your world forever? I just cannot allow you to do that, no matter how good your intentions are."

The fight leaked out of me with each word. I'd never lost it before, no matter how hopeless it all felt. But what she said confirmed something in me the same way that hearing I'd always found Nash did. I was a curse. I'd known it since I was a child and I killed those people at the Eclipse. It wasn't just in this life that I'd fought so hard that I killed the people I loved. It had always happened.

The world would be safer without me.