Eclipse: Time Thief (Romantasy)

44. Awakening

I stared at the floor, unable to rise. My entire body felt numb. "We're alive." I lifted my hands to look at them. "The world is still here."

Nash gripped my knee. "You did it."

"I felt an insane surge of power," Piercey said.

"We took control of the simulation." I clasped my throat with my hand and rubbed the soreness in my muscles. "Dr. Henderson was fighting me. She disappeared right before the white room did. I think she unplugged. She's probably out in her world right now figuring out how to hack back in."

"She's obsessed with this project," Piercey said. "I don't think she'll destroy the hardware, not when she's been hiding things from the council to keep our world going. She's not going to do anything until she's sure it's safe."

"So we have some time." I hefted out a deep breath. "Who knows if it's minutes or weeks or years. She's smart. She'll take back control eventually."

Nash nodded at me. "That gives us time to prepare for whatever battles we'll face."

~~~

It had been four days since we took control of the world away from the gods, every one of them spent traveling. We'd taken the elevator down the mountain and met with Piercey's graduates over his neural link. Val, one of his instructors, had met us after we descended the mountain and rode ahead of us with Piercey, her short auburn hair slicked back in the breeze. Everyone had been quiet today as we prepared for the battle tomorrow.

The Prophet knew that our people were coming to attack and had reinforced his village with warriors from surrounding regions. Piercey had sent graduates to escort Nash's family to the Sacred School to protect them, and a group had kept their eye on the Prophet to ensure he didn't hurt the innocents. It wasn't a promise that nothing would happen, but if the Prophet hurt even one, he'd be inviting an attack. While Piercey and Val had agreed to help us battle, the others wouldn't unless the Prophet started executing prisoners. They didn't have the votes to use the full weight of their group to bring down the Prophet when they worried about who would replace him. But no one planned to stand in the way of Piercey and Val.

What good was their power when they did nothing but watch the Prophet use his to hurt others? I had no use for diplomacy. Not with my people in danger and that snake controlling the entire Valley. But we'd created a good plan on our own. Nash had the idea for Piercey to use his power to shield him in battle so that he could fight against the disciples. Val had interesting strategies of our own. The first day we rode we had kept so busy with our plans, that I didn't have time to feel worried. The second day had been the most difficult, after we'd already made it down the elevator and started our ride toward the Prophet. Dr. Henderson's voice haunted me. As wrong as she was, as much as I knew she needed to be stopped, I wasn't right either. I had three lifetimes of fighting counterproductively and still I had no ideas other than to plunge headlong into the same strong-arm tactics that had ruled every life I'd lived. I was no better than her. She was the god of death and I was her demon of destruction.

This was why I needed to only think about saving my people and seeing Leif walk free with Rune and Arn. My thoughts would be the death of me.

I glanced at Nash as he rode beside me. "We shouldn't stop for rest tonight. We should ride and go straight for the Prophet. We're so close."

"We need sleep to fight well."

"Don't take Piercey's side."

Nash grinned at me. "Don't give me orders, Sharpshooter."

I pursed my lips and tore my eyes from him, before I could linger on the other thoughts that consumed me. With my own eyes, I saw that we'd had something in our previous lives, but I had no idea what it was. Had we met like we did this time and shared something fleeting? Or had we actually been together? Had we had a life together that Flare stole?

"We've squandered four days," Nash said.

Why couldn't he ever let me avoid anything? I tensed. "I told you, wait until after the eclipse." Not only because our focus needed to be on saving my people, but also because it was wrong to draw him any closer when I knew I'd slip away for good this time. We stole the world from the gods, so it wasn't like I would be reincarnated into another life. I'd be gone from this world.

When Nash and I had talked that first night about what to do, I'd told him that we should wait to figure anything out until after the eclipse. He'd looked at me skeptically when I told him, like he knew I'd break, and asked me if I'd ever stop tormenting myself.

He watched me now in the same way.

"Just say it." I couldn't handle another second of his burning stare.

"What excuse will there be after you survive the eclipse?"

I shot my head toward him. "If by some miracle I don't die in two days, then we can talk. That's entirely reasonable. Don't act like I'm being ridiculous."

"You haven't slipped to that future since we took control away from the gods," Nash said.

"It isn't as if I slip to it every day. It's coming."

"If dying during the eclipse is inevitable, then why did Henderson work so hard to take you out herself?"

This wasn't something I could speculate about. I'd accepted my fate long ago. Getting my hopes up now would only devastate me when the day came. "What does it hurt to wait?"

"Because we could die."

I tilted my head, brows raising. "Exactly why we shouldn't do this. You've completely lost me."

"The reason you want to wait is the reason I don't. We could fall in battle tomorrow." He eased his horse closer, voice quiet. "Even if we do, we'll be together again. We've always been together. It's a dream we keep waking from. A dream we keep returning to. Tell me you don't feel it in your bones that we've been here before. That we always end up here."

I couldn't tell him that because I felt it too, as irresistible and inevitable as every slip I'd ever had. Maybe I wasn't afraid of what would happen if we opened ourselves up to each other and I died. Maybe I was afraid of what had already happened. That every day, every battle we fought, every catch of our eyes, every moment tying this one to the first time I saw him, I'd been slipping into his arms. He'd been slipping into mine.

The fear sharpened inside of me so I couldn't lie to myself. It was too late. Multiple lives too late. If time was entangled between the eclipses then Nash and I had become entangled as well.

"I won't be strong enough to say goodbye." I gripped the horse's mane.

"It's not time for that." His voice melted the tension in my chest. "Live in this moment. Stay with me, here and now. If we ever do say goodbye, it won't be forever. I'll come to you in the world beyond this one. We'll find our way to each other. We always have and we always will."

His words melted me. "That world is far bigger than our little valley."

"That won't stop me."

My fear crumbled into sorrow. "If I always find you, then I also always lose you. But that doesn't make me regret meeting you."

"Then, don't make me wait another lifetime to have you. Not when the wait since our last life has already been so long. Give me one night. At least one night."

The cruelty that I'd lost him before–no, that Dr. Henderson had stolen us from each other–ignited the fire within me. We had to get to my people to free them and figure out how to keep her out of this world so that we had the chance to live in peace.