Eclipse: Time Thief (Romantasy)

60. Again

Where my power had once been a drip I could scarcely control, it had evolved into a waterfall that I could shut off at will. The only problem with a waterfall was how difficult it was to control once it plunged into a river. When even a ripple could hurt the people around me, I feared the power of riptides and raging eddies could destroy my world.

After gaining control of my teleportation powers, I focused on my manipulation of time. I still needed to figure out how to break into the after-life and keep my memories, but to do any of that, I needed to learn to travel to the moment of I would die beneath the eclipse. That moment held valuable data. While Piercey focused on academic pursuits and supporting me, I plunged into the experience of trying to travel not through the space around me but through time. There had been progress, but not enough.

I steadied my breathing as I focused on times throughout my life that I felt connected to. I'd learned I couldn't travel to any point I wanted, at least not yet. But there were so many moments in my life that felt timeless, like they had dug so deeply into the fabric of existence that even time couldn't force me to let go, that I had never left. I had stayed in the eclipse for my entire life. Had never left my father on those long days of training. Not for a moment had let go of Nash's hand as he fell down the cliff in the landslide.

All this time that I'd nearly killed myself trying to hold back the waterfall of my power, I'd forced it to explode out of hairline fissures. I'd been wrong. Wrong for a very long time. I had to embrace my power and tame it and make it truly mine.

So as I sat in the grass beneath the towering tree where Piercey and I had long ago sat and talked, I thought of the points in my life I would like to travel to. Because why practice with the bad when I could drift off to the good?

That was the greatest power I had learned. To live in my joy rather than to be trapped in my suffering. My mind was mine, as was my power.

Not that I never struggled with anxiety. But I would enjoy every moment of freedom, because it would be a shame to reject happiness out of fear that one day I might lose it.

"When will you travel to today?" Piercey asked.

"Probably the day when we were kids and I finally beat you at that puzzle game we liked."

A smile tugged my lips as I thought of memories I wanted to relive. I didn't slip as much as I drifted into the warmth of days I wanted to never end.

It would be harder to travel to the day I'd spent my life avoiding.

~~~

"You're sure about this?" Piercey knew the answer. I thought what he really wanted to know was whether he could stop me.

I breathed in deeply and smoothed my hands over the plush pillow beneath me. Piercey had surrounded me with pillows and blankets in the dim training room to make me more comfortable.

"It's time," I said.

"No one should have to do this."

I smiled sadly. "People have always done things they shouldn't have to do. I need you to be strong for me. If I try to quit, push me to keep going." He shook his head but I made my voice stern. "That is the least you can do for me. I'm the one who will be dying."

Shame flooded his eyes. He lowered his head.

I didn't soften my voice even though I wanted to. "You will not let me quit, Piercey."

He nodded, though he said nothing.

It had taken me weeks to reach this point, but once I began traveling at will, it all came to me quickly. There was nothing left to wait for. It wouldn't get easier. I just had to do it. Besides, Flare could take back control any time. I had to be ready.