Midnight Momento (Astalièr Series I)

MDT 9

Chapter 9

I was raised up getting punished when I do something. Even if it's right, if in their eyes it's wrong, I will pay for the consequences. I was never treated with gentleness. They taught me tough love. To make me strong and stand on my feet. To face punishment and not run from it.

I was used to it.

I grew up with it.

I never felt a gentle correction. I think it was a forbidden thing because it might feel so good. Maybe it was so good you'll choose to do it right everytime. At some point of my life I want that too. But I felt like I am not good enough to ask for that. That I don't deserve it.

I didn't even experience it with my own family.

I clicked the lock and slowly turned the doorknob. My heart was banging hard inside my chest, because even though I was aware Rohen was standing on the other side of the wooden door. I was hoping he's not there anymore.

It took me minutes to decide to finally open my door. Moments passed already when he talked. But a part of me was convinced to follow what he said. There is something with his words that made me open my door. My barrier. My great wall. My escape from what happened tonight.

My weak eyes went up to his face. His calm and  gentle expression reciprocates to his tone earlier. How I imagined what he looked like while saying those words. I was right.

Why is he still here? He should be inside his office trying to investigate me. Suspicious of me. Or talking to Officer Oliveros to keep an eye on me.

Narinig niya ang mga sinabi ng mga tauhan niya kanina. Ang mga binibintang nila sa akin. Na baka plano ko ito para pabagsakin siya. He should be threatened right now. Even if just a little bit.

There's so many thoughts circulating in my mind these past few days. That maybe, inside of his brain he's already suspicious of me too.

But there's no hint of anything in his eyes right now. Or maybe my eyes were tricking me?

"You don't have to follow me here." I murmured lifelessly.

His thick brows drew together. "You haven't eaten yet." his tone was still the same.

It makes me feel uneasy because the feeling was so unfamiliar.

"I can take care of myself." I tried to sound unbothered with his gentleness.

He stepped closer. I had to step back and my behind hit the door frame. I still tried to stay still with my cold expression.

"And it is also my responsibility to take care of you."   he disclosed and my eyes went to his thin lips. He sighed. "While you're in my house." he continued.

I brought my eyes back to his face and our gaze met. "Thank you. But I really don't have the appetite to eat anymore." I admitted.

He heaved a sigh again like he's facing some crisis right now. He didn't even sound like that earlier noong nagkakagulo sa labas.

"But you need to consume something. Hindi ka rin makakapag pahinga ng maayos at makakatulog ng gutom, Cali."

I turned my lips into a thin line and stared at him. We've been looking at each other for quite some time then he arched his brow at me softly. Waiting for me to respond.

"Bababa ako mamaya. I'll just take a bath and be at peace with myself. I think I need that more." I responded.

He opened his mouth, planning to say something, but he just nodded at the end. "Alright. I'll tell them to prepare you dinner for later." he gave in.