Until these wounds heal

20. She

I have so much to write,
My head does scream and bite,
Angering my bleeding heart,
I feel like I'm falling apart,

I hate her, I hate me, everything I hate,
My mind is in such a pitiful state,
I'm angry, hurting, attempting to heal,
A wound so open it won't reseal,

She has stripped my confidence raw with her own hands,
Broken every inch of me down at her demands,
Until I am nothing but a chiseled skeleton who does cry,
Behind paper thin skin as to lie,

Before her I liked the person I was,
My appearance, personality because,
No one had ever made me feel so worthless before,
And I wonder why she did that and what for,

And to her I was nothing but kind,
And all she ever made me feel was undermined,
And her friends and I were the same,
So why did she choose me to feel such shame,

And whenever I think she has made me sad for the last time,
She comes back again and commits a different crime,
And the wounds she makes bleed out a little more,
Which she cuts a little deeper than before,

And even after she does this to me,
Kind to her I still try to be,
Because I don't want her to treat me this way,
Yet horrible things she still chooses to say,

And she looks so happy and free,
Whilst causing anger, sadness and depression in me,
And it's hard not to take everything she says to heart,
When it is tearing my mind apart,

She doesn't always even say things,
Sometimes it's just the way she ignores me which stings,
Or the way she excludes me out,
And makes me feel like I don't deserve to be about,

Oh how I wish I could ask her why,
She gives me such a cold look from her eye,
Because I'm not asking her to love me,
I just wish the hurt she was causing she could see.