controversial thoughts n opinions

SOOOOOO MUCH DRAMAAAA

I just got to knw the reason why MF was ignoring me.

It seems like he has got sm1 else

And I kinda guessed it too.

The girl he likes lets just call her "Ami"

So Ami is a junior of mine, she is rly sweet n a soft girl, she says that she looks up to me a lot❤️🥰

So once me and MF stopped talking, it was right around the time me and Ami started working together n there were subtle signs where she had his chat pinned as important or that she had his password.

So the whole thing was obvious but I was still so fucking mad at MF for going ghost and no it wasn't specifically emotionally it was bcs he wouldn't reply to me for work related stuff as well n that made my life so fukn tough.

But honestly I had to get over it, its not like I was looking to date him- sure, him choosing her over me was tough to digest but I was like fuck that and fuck him lol Im too stressed w my own life to worry abt stupid things like that.

And I just deleted his contact cause his views on my status would bother me.

Bt thn I get to know frm the Delhi senior (our trainer basically who likes me) MF is in deep trouble.

So MF likes Ami and she kind of likes him too.

But here's the thing- Ami is already in a relationship.

And her boyfriend is fucking toxic

He has her google contacts so he knows that she has been speaking with MF and that too late at nights.

Lol

So Ami lives in Delhi Rn and MF visited Delhi too sometime back and her BF found out about this whole thing and called him at night and threatened to kill him.

Lol

(SERVES HIM RIGHT)

Bruh

So he called my Delhi senior crying and then came to his house cuz he was really scared.

And here's the thing-

Ami is not ready to leave her Bf even though he is toxic.

Basically my Delhi senior told me about all this and even he is kind of shocked because MF never cries.

And yeah I was shocked too.

So he is saying that he cant leave Ami cuz he loves her.

Yeah right👍

But Ami sort of fits into his type so I understand it.

She is a soft girl and she is submissive types too that explains why she has a bf like that.

When we first started speaking MF would go on and ask me, "Where are you?" Or "who you with?" "Why u alone at night?"

And I was like- "MF even my dad doesn't ask me that who tf r u?"

So yeah

I get it.

She is a soft person w 0 boundaries and he likes girls like that.

Unfortunately I can't be soft.

Lol

When he asked me to follow back on insta i blocked that MF🤣🤣🤣🤣🥰👍

I used to speak to him a lot and told a lot of dark secrets to him and even now I wonder why...

It must bcs I wanted acceptance from him.

He was a normal guy.

And I always struggled with getting accepted...

I'm not religious, I'm against marriage, I m violent, Im weird, Im just a bad person sometimes.

I always struggled with social anxiety and I think my sense of being an outcast always fuelled that.

And I guess

Telling him my dark secrets and being accepted by him gave me a sense of relief.

But it wasn't so...

I don't think a guy can truly love me ever.

That's why I go around fcking w so many guys

Since no one can wholly love me, i tried to increase the qty

So that multiple parts of me would be loved.

Hah...

What a stupid thing to do.

When I cane back to my hometown I left it all behind.

I didn't want to be loved anymore

I j needed money.

Hah lol...

But anyways I feel bad for Ami...

Girls like that...

May end up ruining their lives.

Heard she is gonna quit and prepare for UPSC

😐

Basically both her bf n her will but this is such a bad decision to take😭🥲

I can't say anything cuz i m only a third person and I heard everything from a third party😐

My delhi senior j updated me on so much beef literally...

Like there's nothing I knew, I think I only j worked.

And the worst thing out of all this is that MF is transferring to our Kolkata office.

🥲

I m so dead.

When I badly want to keep the distance between us😭☹️

Bcs the thing is MF knows too much about me

(Yeah I was fucking stupid and ranted like a dumb bitch)

And MF is close to our delhi senior-

And some of my college friends whom I have beef with are here in this ofc...

So basically MF is a fxxking time bomb.

Hah.

Im cooked.

This is the last thing I need before CAT

Im so stupid.

What the fuck am I doing with my life...

I wish he was here at times like this...

He would give me the best advices of all time...

Sighs

Whatever imma j be myself.

Whatever comes at my way I'll deal with it.

I have to be careful...

But I'll try my best to avoid MF

Whatever happens happens.

Like fxxx it we are going to figure it out smhw