controversial thoughts n opinions

She wanted to die

Its been so long since I spoke with her and I realised that I still love her.

"Nobody gets me like you do"

She will probably think that I am stupid for it.

And yes I am.

I m a fool.

Chased her around for 3 yrs, got blocked unblocked and ghosted

Lol.

Call me crazy but

When she called me telling me that she had been kicked out of her home

Or when she got high and opened up about her trauma.

And when she called me after trying to kill herself and told me how everyone is actually replacable...

I thought that they all meant something.

Probably they didn't but I wanted to believe they did.

Those times were dark...

We both shared the same paim

Although my father never let me feel it but I knew the burden he was carrying.

I wanted to grow up fast and share some of the burden

He refused to take a single Rs from me though, but I still tried to buy stuff around for them, especially the things that they had considered luxury.

But then again the accident happened.

Lost all my savings in the proccess and then Dengue.

I thought of just quitting at that time due to the toxicity.

But I am glad I didn't.

I am grateful to my brother for helping me at that time. My life was really falling apart, it wouldn't be a surprise if I were to get fired.

And I think we stopped talking around this time.

It happened all so naturally I didn't even feel it.

I was too occupied to even speak with anyone around that time

And I stopped calling her.

But all those times...

There wasn't even a single call from her

Not even a single one.

I had been building a house with cards.

And it had eventually, collapsed.

My frnds tell me that I have no self respect.

Hahaha

Lol

I dont know.

But really...

There was a time when

We both wanted to die.

And I stopped her.

She stopped me.

To her maybe people are replaceable.

But to me she is not.