"I know this day will come. Someday, we'll find our way out of here."
I wrote my letter with a heavy heart.
Once upon a time, I loved a man who was out of my league.
He came from another town and every year, they were spending their summers in our village. He came from a really well-off family, and I heard that they went to a school in the city, and that the cost of his one-month school fee can already house a family.
Year after year, since we were young, I always witnessed how good of a person he was, until one day, when we reached our 20s, he courageously took his chance to befriend me during our camp in the woods.
It was between the heat of the campfire and the smell of the smoked marshmallows, that he confessed his feelings for me, not knowing the reason why I was too afraid to give in. Despite that, however, he gave me everything that I can imagine, everything that a person could give to a person he loves. We made songs together, chased our dreams, sang loudly in the cold, dark road whenever we feel down. We shared every kiss, every fight, every embrace, together.But I know, I know everything has to end.
It was a beautiful Sunday morning, with a sharp pain in my lungs, when I realized that there's still something that I can give in return.
And maybe the heavens wanted to teach me this valuable lesson, that's why they gave me this chance to make it up to him, before leaving him alone like this.
It was my fault that I let him inside my world when he's supposed to be living a life in his wider universe.. so to repay him, I needed to do this.
For him.
Because I love him this much to leave him.
"I know, you're meant for something bigger, somewhere outside this four-cornered room, enjoying your freedom and not regretting anything,"
I looked at the sun rays peeking through my window. Three days, and everything will come to an end.
"Someday, I will unlove you. I will learn not to think of you anymore, not to long for the scent of your skin and the warmth of your embrace."
I continued writing.
"Twelve hours from now, I may not be able to love you anymore, and these words will have no meaning.. but please know that those daylights witnessed with you by my side were the best moments of my life. You were a miracle in my midnights.
By this time, all of the questions in your head will be answered; you may have opened this letter before the date that I told you to, but then, only on that day you will understand everything."
"I am not in love with you anymore. But I will always keep you close to my heart."
"You might not be able to do it the same way that you did with me, but here, please love others the way that I did with this. "
I folded my letter and inserted it into an envelope and put my handkerchief inside, sprayed with the last spritz of my perfume that he always liked to smell.
"Please don't open this until you have been discharged from here."
Until then, Chisa, my friend doctor, entered the room and looked at me with concerned eyes.I heaved a deep sigh and smiled at her and said, "I'm ready."
She walked towards me and gave me a tight hug. "I will miss you, thank you for everything."
"Thank you also, and please take care of him."
"I will."
She sent a signal to her aides and told them to bring me to my destination. To the operating room. And there, my love, I will profess my love for you.
On the last part of my letter, you will know that this is supposed to be the last day of my life. I know, after this summer, you'll have to go back to the city to continue yours.
That's why I brought you to the camp, to enjoy my last moment with you. My body was slowly deteriorating, and I'm sorry if I let you worry and didn't tell the truth about having my days numbered due to Type 2 Diabetes.
I was not able to control my disease because I wanted to share this summer with you.. I wanted to smell the burning marshmallows and eat s'mores with you. I wanted to love you for the last time, just like how we started.
Never did I expect that a thunderstorm is approaching the campsite and it led us to an accident.
You broke your rib, you needed a heart donor, and I told Chisa to take a chance with mine.
Reluctantly, she said she's going to do anything that she can.
This was supposed to be my last day, anyway.
And you needed a heart to survive, that's why I gave you mine.
"So my love, once you read this, please don't look for me anymore. Take me with you instead."
