Dipendenza

Chapter 21

Leo

I focused on the task at hand, building with my partner. Ronnie has this obsession with metal and twisting it around. It's a calming activity but sitting in silence twisting metal is boring.

"It's coming together little daddy." He said looking at my metal. "Here let me." He stood up and stood behind me. He leaned over my shoulder and took the rods in his hands. "You have to rub on it to smoothen it out." He whispered. I watched his tattooed fingers work the metal. His body was close to my own making it easy for me to feel his steady heartbeat.

I looked up at him to see he was already staring down at me. His rough hands grabbed my jaw with a tight grip. I watched as his lips landed on mine. I moaned into the kiss. The feeling of him made my racing mind dull. It seems like the world is yelling at me but when he's around everything is quiet.

"I'm scared." I whispered.

"Me too." His voice trembled. "I've become a little to attached to you."

"Yes, I'm dependent on you. That is dangerous for someone like me." I admitted.

"I've never wanted anyone with such intensity. I have you and still feel like I have to work to get you." He sighed. He sat back in his seat. "I don't want to do anything to mess this up. I can't lose you, I'll go insane."

"You don't know how much I love you. It scares me of the things I'd do for you. I don't feel comfortable when you're not around. The person I felt this for is gone and for so long I thought I'd never feel this. Then you come from nowhere calling me little daddy and annoying me but at the same time you made me feel human. I've not felt human in so long." I expressed.

"You haven't had the chance to feel human. You've been through so much." I nodded softly.

"As a child my uncle would torture me. It's something I had to go through as the heir to the company. He used to stab my arms and hands. Making sure never to hit any vital spots." I said running my finger tips over the wounds. "He would stab me each time I cried. My father let him against his better judgement. He wanted me to be strong."

"You know that was wrong of them right?" I nodded softly. "What else have you been through?" He stood up and wrapped his arms around me tightly. "I want to know everything about you, even the bad parts."

"I killed my first person at the age of 12. I caught my father being held at gunpoint. I was taught to be silent at age five and by then I knew how to weld a knife. I rushed and stabbed him. My mother lost a little bit of love for me that day. I could see it in her eyes." I whispered. "That's the first day I didn't feel human. I felt like my father. He was never someone I looked up to."

"And how could you? No one can make sense of that at that age. No wonder your pension for life is low." He growled.

"It wasn't all bad. I had a wonderful example of love. When I was afforded moments of happiness they were great. I was able to have friends and be a kid some days throughout the week." I sighed. Days in Italy running around with hardly anything on made me smile. My daily wear consisted of flat sandals and shorts that were made to allow the air in. I carried a stick around with me and my messy hair hid my eyes.

"But Leo when you weren't being a kid you're were tortured and forced into situations some adults would never want to see." Ronald looked worried. "I did the things out of necessity but you, you did it because someone told you to. No wonder you feel inhuman, you must feel like a fucking robot."

A robot? Something that takes orders and follows it through no questions asked. I guess in some ways I am. I always thought I was a beast. A monster who only goal is survival but maybe Ronnie is right. I'm a fucking pawn in a game I thought I was playing. My father told me to kill, I did it. He said take over, I did it.