The (rut) cycle (shinsoukoku)

Chapter 11

Dazai drags Atsushi into the agency, uncaring if he accidentally hurts him.

Dazai didn't know where he went wrong. If anything, he became a much better teacher than back when he still mentored Akutagawa.  And at first the results were great.

But now, Atsushi became a rapist and Dazai couldt stop thinking it was his fault. That somehow his own trauma with Mori somehow transferred itself onto Atsushi, making him the rapist that he is now.

The bandaged man throws Atsushi into the agency’s main room. It was empty because it was Saturday and all of its members were either at home or on some short weekend vacation.

“It wasn't my fault. It’s my rut. It- It’s one part of my brain wanting me to have sex with Akutagawa. It wasn't my fault” Atsushi immediately starts explaining. Starts making excuses, as  will help him.

Spoiler alert.

They won’t.

“Stay quiet.” Dazai says curtly and takes a chair. He sits down on it and watches the weretiger who is trying to stand up now.

Atsushj doesn't stay quiet.

“You have to believe me. It was as if some force was pulling me to him, I swear. Dazai, please believe me!” Atsushi starts begging. He doesn't want Dazai to leave him because of something he ‘couldn't control’.

Dazai groans, stands up and slaps him hard across the face. Atsushu’s too shocked to do anything. For the first few seconds at least.

“I-If you beat me, will you forgive me?” He asks. That's a thing he often asked his headmaster.

Dazai looks at Atsushi in disbelief.

“I should forgive you? Do you realize what you’ve done? We’re on the good side now. I switched so I could make everything better. I switched so I could save people. And you’re out here, destroying that. Do you know what raoe can fucking do to a person!?”
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(Flashback)

Mori sits down in his office, Elise is right next to him. She wasn't in her red dress yet, but in her nurse clothes. Mori didn't need to take interest in her when he had his dear Osamu.

“Osamu~” He says in a soft voice and waits for the bandaged boy to come to him.

There was a very obvious new bandage on his eye and Mori frowned a bit.

“What happened?” He asks as he stands up and goes to Osamu to caress his cheek.

Dazai’s emotionless eyes don't show anything, leaving Mori guessing when he doesn't answer his question.

“Oh well. I don't care as long as you’re under my table” he says and pats his lap after he sits back down by his desk.

Osamu’s eyes follow the movement and he knows what his boss implies. It’s a common occurrence with them.

An occurrence that makes Dazai hate himself more and more every day.

He gets on his knees and puts his head on his boss’s legs. He opens the zipper. He…

(End of flashback)
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“It’s him who you should ask for forgiveness” Dazai says and stands up. He leaves the room as fast as possible, too many memories clouding his mind.

Atsushi watches his mentor leave. The man he often looked up to like a father figure. The mentor was incredibly disappointed.

The worst thing was, Atsushi didn't regret it one bit.

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Meanwhile, Chuuya was helping Akutagawa in the mafia’s building. He made him some warm and nice green tea and made sure no one could disturb them.