The (rut) cycle (shinsoukoku)

Chapter 19

From the day Akutagawa let himself cry in Atsushi's arms, the weretiger has been spending more and more time with him. Akutagawa doesn't know if that's good or bad. He's lonely and spending time with Atsushi when he's not actively trying to rape him isn't actually that bad.

Maybe when he said he won't hurt him anymore, he actually meant it?

And so, days went by and each time Atsushi would be with Akutagawa, talk with him, play board games and try to do things to help Akutagwa pass the time. And who knows, maybe he will let Akutagawa out of the basement soon and let him sleep in the bigger, more comfortable room?

"I brought something new for today" Atsushi says with a smile and takes out a blanket from behind his back.

"We're going to have a picnic" He explains and puts the blanket neatly on the cold floor. Akutagawa watches him suspiciously as if soon Atsushi might do something to him.

Fortunately, that doesn't happen.

"I brought food and drinks. And some card games." He says and a few seconds later takes out a few sandwiches, candies, cupcakes and juices. An apple and an orange one.

„Why would we have a picnic? That wouldn't bring us anything. There's zero grass here" Akutagawa says and looks at the food. He takes the cupcake and bites it.

It's very delicious but he would never say it outloud. He doesn't want to compliment him.

"We can imagine there's grass here. And come on, is the sweet food not enough to just focus on that?" The weretiger laughs and grabs a cupcake too. He closes his eyes as he tastes it and finishes it in a few bites, at the same time Akutagawa finished his.

The diablo drinks something but while drinking, he watches the eating weretiger. What does he think he will accomplish by doing this so-called picnic?

Atsushi feels his mate's stare on him and smiles.

„Is something on my face?" He asks and the diablo shakes his head.

"Then are you looking at me because you like me? Or hate me?"

„...I don't know"

"You don't? That's progress then"

„How is that progress?" Akutagawa asks, angry. Atsushi was apparently still thinking of him as some kind of toy.

„You both like and hate me. You only hated me before"

Akutagawa scoffs and turns away. Atsushi grabs his hand and caresses it with his thumb and the diablo doesn't take his hand away. Living in the basement, he slowly started craving physical touch. Usually, he and his sister would sit near each other and watch movies. But he could not even do that now. His sister was dead.

He doesn't notice when Atsushi moves closer, so close that he can lean his head on Akutagawa's shoulder. And so he does.

"Hah... I love you, my dear Ryuu" The weretiger mutters and a shiver runs down Akutagawa's spine.

Gin used to call him Ryuu.

"Stop loving me then" The diablo answers and wants to push Atsushi away but the weretiger leans away by himself.

"If only it were that easy" He sighs and there's a quick but sad expression on his face that makes him appear... human. An expression that gave Akutagawa hope that the man who kidnapped him was not fully a monster.

Their hands are still touching and Atsushi intertwines their fingers, then pulls their hands up and kisses Akutagawa's knuckles.

There's an unwilling blush on the diablo's cheeks.

The cherishing and devotion of Atsushi was getting to him.

"Are we done?" He asks and pulls his hand away swiftly, anger but also a bit of confusion on his face. He was fighting his feelings. His need for love. Either platonic or romantic. But now, since he lost his sister, his only platonic familial love, there was only one other person who could love him. And that was Atsushi.

No matter if Atsushi's love was disturbing, Akutagawa needed it.

And now, he was desperately trying to hide these feelings. To make them fade. Because he knows, these feelings will be the end of him.

„Can I kiss you?" Atsushi asks and the question completely startles Akutagawa.

Since when did the weretiger ask? And why so sudden?

Before Akutagawa has time to either shake or nod his head, Atsushi's lips meet his own and the weretiger softly grabs his face, pulling them even closer together. Akutagawa's eyes are wide open while Atsushi's are closed.

"Push me away if you don't want this" Atsushi whispers in the small break to catch his breath, their interwines their faces.

Akutagawa doesn't push.

He pulls Atsushi by the collar.

Of course, he stops them once Atsushi tries to do something more, but the kiss? The kiss was something Akutagawa could live with.

The kiss could be something he'd be happy to do again.

...damn it. The weretiger was truly good at manipulating him.
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I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter
-Nat