The Way She Looks At Me •Freen&Becky•

Sometimes You Lose...

FREEN SAROCHA'S POV

Things weren't as it used to be between Serena and I. We even had to pretend break-up after the first semester, but we were still friends.

Slowly, people started forgetting about my involvement with the Royal Family. Becky was now history, a painful past that I hope to never revisit ever again.

My family was doing better than ever. It's like a beautiful dream, we were upper class citizens now.

And not to brag, but I've also made quite the cash. My book published by YWT was bringing in steady paychecks and even though it's painful, I'm happy Becky came into my life. Even if it was just for a brief moment.

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Finally, I was done with Mahidol. Now welcoming Freen Sarocha Chankimha, the English and literary studies graduate from Mahidol University. It was fun while it lasted but I'm finally done.

I returned home, I mean to China. We're already accustomed to the place. Unlike when we first arrived. China is really marvelous and so civilized with so many modern technologies. Like I said, this is Freda's toff and she's having the time of her life. But in all, there's no place like home.

We still miss Thailand. Our friends, neighbours, colleagues and other acquaintances, even the physical environment itself was so much missed. And as much as I try to deny it, I still miss Becky a lot. But I'd never tell anyone.

If that happens, I think I'd be admitted to a psych ward. Even I think I should be. I'm a crazily insane patient when it comes to Becky.

I've been keeping tabs on her every move. I'm not a stalker or anything, or maybe I am. But it was same old charade. She smiles as usual in front of the camera but I know her enough to know that she's just faking it all.

She's so unhappy. I wish I could go save her like how it always happens in the stories with The Princess and her knight in shining armor, but I can't do that. All those fairytales are full of shit, It's nothing like that in reality.

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***

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The date for Becky's marriage to Theodore was fast approaching. I wish a heavy thunderbolt would strike and crush Theodore so as to prevent this marriage but no! it's happening.

I didn't want to, but I became more anxious when the day of the wedding drew nearer. I wish Becky would do something, anything to stop this wedding. Go on a spiralling spree maybe. But no, she has already given up and just accepted her fate.

The wedding was all Thailand could talk about. Every news outlet was carrying it. Soon, it became even an international trend. Everywhere I went, it was all about the marriage between The Thailand's Princess, Princess Rebecca Patricia Armstrong and Duke Theodore George Ambrose.

This just threw me into more loneliness and depression. Becky has moved on from me. She has forgotten about me. All the days we spent together, all the memories we created together, did they mean so little to her? Is this how little I meant to her?

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I couldn't stop time nor events and November finally came. "I'm okay" I always claim but I guess my family was well aware that I still have feelings for Becky.