Chapter 22: Christmas Special - The Runaway Bride

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[TARDIS]

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[TARDIS]

The Alchemist frowns and begins to watch the tennis match of words.

Still gaping, the Doctor continues, "What?"

"Who are you?" the bride demands.

He shakes his head, "But..."

"Where am I?"

"What?"

"What the hell is this place?"

"What? You can't do that. I wasn't. We're in flight. That is, that is physically impossible! How did... Ally how?" he finally manages and turns to his wife.

The Time Lady just shrugs. Blinking rapidly, hoping she's just a mirage.

"Tell me where I am!" she stomps, "I demand you tell me right now. Where am I?"

The Doctor replies, "Inside the TARDIS."

"The what?"

"The TARDIS."

"The what?"

"The TARDIS!" he shouts.

"The what?"

The Alchemist tries, speaking slowly, "It's called the TARDIS."

The bride snaps, "That's not even a proper word. You're just saying things."

"It's an acronym," the Time Lady corrects.

"How did you get in here?" the Doctor demands.

"Well, obviously, when you kidnapped me," she accuses, "Who was it? Who's paying you? Is it Nerys? Oh my God, she's finally got me back. This has got Nerys written all over it."

He throws up his hands, "Who the hell is Nerys?"

"Your best friend," she snidely replies, hands on her hips.

"No, that's..." the Alchemist's mouth is covered.

The Doctor finally takes notice, "Hold on, wait a minute. What are you dressed like that for?"

The Alchemist licks the hand preventing her from speaking and he instantly pulls away with a look of annoyance.

The bride scoffs, "I'm going ten-pin bowling. Why do you think, dumbo? I was halfway up the aisle! I've been waiting all my life for this. I was just seconds away, and then you, I don't know, you drugged me or something!"

"She's getting married, Doctor. In most English-speaking countries on Earth, at least some white is worn, especially a wedding gown," the Time Lady reminds him.

"Exactly!" the woman says and stomps her foot again.

"Ah, yours looked nicer, Ally," he says with a firm nod.

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