white-passing- jamal turner

thirty-three

I fucked Marcus Cole, and I hooked up with Jaxon too. I thought it would make me feel better, but it was like putting a bandaid on a stab wound. Jamal found out pretty quickly about it because the two of them are assholes who run to their teammates about the girls they get with. I ghosted Marcus afterward because of how disgusting I felt but was still casually seeing Jaxon. I was probably gonna break it off soon. He was getting too attached, and I didn't like it. 

The news of Jamal cheating on me spread like wildfire through the school, and so many random people were telling me how sorry they were for me. I didn't want their condolences and fake apologies. I didn't know them. 

Ruby and I were friends again, and so were Ruby and Jamal, but I refused to speak with Jamal. I wanted to avoid any contact with him at all, but I was civil when I had to be for Ruby's sake. I didn't pull a Monse and make him pick, but it was obvious who he was closer with.

Ruby and Jamal were always closer anyway, and when push came to shove, he'd always choose Jamal over me.

Monse was home for the holidays, and Monty invited all of our parents. I didn't want to go, but my parents made me, and I had no other plans. Plus, Izabel was finally home after we begged her to come.

My mom brought brigadeiro to the party, and my dad brought a bottle of prosecco. Brigadeiro a chocolate ball with sprinkles, and it's probably the best thing ever to exist. 

We knocked on the door, and Monty's new wife opened it. We all said our hellos.

"Izabel!" Geny said, "It's so good to see you. Oh my god, you look amazing!"

"AJ, it's been so long!" Monty said, "It's great to see you."

 "Hi, Monty," I said before being intercepted by Jamal's mom.

"Hi sweetie,"  she said to me, hugging me tightly, "How are you doing?"

I shrugged. I wasn't doing well at all, but it was a Christmas party, and I didn't want to bring the mood down.

"Listen, I just want to you to know that even though you and Jamal aren't together anymore, I'm still here if you ever need anything," she said before whispering in your ear, "And yes, our son is an ass. I hit him over the head after I found out what he did."

I smiled weakly, "Thank you. For everything. For always letting me come over and being so welcoming towards me."

She rubbed my shoulder, and Dwayne came over, "Of course, baby."

Jasmine came in through the other door, which was unexpected. Then, I saw Monse come in. In that moment, all the resentment I had for her flew out the window, and I realized how much I missed her.

"AJ?"

"Monse?" I said, "Holy shit, you look- different."

"In a good way or a bad way?"

I laughed and hugged her, "It's been too long."

Next thing I know, I'm being rushed into Monse's room with Jasmine and Monse. Jasmine filled in Monse about how she and Ruby broke up and then proceeded to tell her what happened in the two years she was gone. Everything was spot on except for the narrative that Jamal and I abandoned Ruby and Jasmine for no reason.

"You're still telling yourself that, huh?" I said, "At least Jamal and I made efforts to do double dates and make plans. What did you guys do?! Canceled last minute 24/7 so you could hump each other instead?"

Jasmine looked offended but then rolled her eyes, "Ok, maybe. You're right."

"I'm not saying we weren't assholes," I said, "And I'm sorry for everything that happened with the election and the disrespect we gave you. Especially with the threesome thing, which I told Jamal not to bring up. But you gotta own up to your own shit, you know?"