The Train to Nowhere

Chapter 4 - The Counselor

Having found new purpose in her dreams made slogging through the waking hours that much harder. The girl was no longer listless and going through the motions of life. Instead, she was driven and focused on making it to the front of the train to get her wish. She spent countless nights trying to push forward, but progress was slow. She was losing her patience, and it was beginning to show. Her mother was concerned at first, but decided that this was a positive change, and her teachers noticed a shift in her behavior as well. Where before she was an empty husk following the current wherever it took her, now she was engaging in the happenings around her.

For the first time in a while, the girl was participating in school and conversations, though it quickly became apparent that her only interest was the train. She asked all sorts of questions, trying to figure out how to beat it, how to get her wish. It was rapidly growing into an obsession, and her mother's concern returned. The girl, while getting plenty of sleep, never appeared to be all that rested. She always had bags under her eyes and was constantly either mumbling to herself or just spacing off. Her teachers started to worry about her, and ultimately decided to recommend that she see the student counselor. She reluctantly gave in after the principal called for a meeting with her mother.

That is how the girl found herself sitting across from Miss Tater, or 'Counselor Tater Tot' when she wasn't within earshot. The name came from the fact that her actual last name was Tater and the 'Tater Tot Incident' in the cafeteria the year before. The girl found the nickname silly and immature, though that didn't stop her from using it whenever she was feeling salty. Miss Tater just quietly watched the girl for a while as she sat twiddling her fingers, trying to pretend that there was nothing going on and that she had no reason to be there.

"I know it can be hard to open up, but keeping everything all bottled up isn't healthy. Your teachers tell me that you've been distracted in class, even more than usual. Do you want to tell me what's on your mind?" Miss Tater finally broke the silence. The girl shifted uncomfortably but stayed quiet. Miss Tater held back a sigh. "I can't help you if you won't talk to me." The girl glanced up at her before dropping her eyes back down to her own hands.

"Have you heard about the Train?" the girl finally responded.

"You mean the one that everybody seems to be dreaming about lately?" Miss Tater returned.

"Yeah. Have you heard the rumor?" the girl asked.

"The one about getting your wish granted? Yes, I've heard. I even tried myself for a while," Miss Tater answered.

"You were a pilgrim?" the girl asked again, looking up to meet Miss Tater's gaze.

"For a time. But I realized that I was becoming so focused on a fantasy that I was missing out on real life," Miss Tater responded.

"My wish is too important to give up on, I have to succeed," the girl replied. Miss Tater had to hold back another sigh.

"I can guess what your wish is, but hun, I don't think that there is anything that you can do at this point," Miss Tater tried to explain. Her words fell on deaf ears.

"It doesn't matter. If there is even a small chance that I can get my wish, then I have to try. Nothing else matters," the girl responded.

"What about your mother? I'm sure she's struggling just as much as you are. You need to lean on each other, especially at a time like this," Miss Tater replied softly. The girl deflated in her chair, her eyes once again on her hands that now sat limply in her lap. Miss Tater was about to speak again when she was cut off by the school bell. She let out a sigh as the girl left her office like it was on fire. This was going to take a while to work through.

Back home, the girl pulled the front door shut hard, almost slamming it. Her mother was waiting for her in the living room to ask about her day, though the girl knew that her mother really wanted to know how her first counseling session went.

"Everything was fine. I have homework to do, I'll see you later, Mom," was the only response the girl gave before making her way up the stairs to her room. Her mother watched her go with worry on her face.

"Be sure to come down for dinner, I'll make your favorite!" she called up after the girl, just before she heard the door shut. Sighing, she started for the kitchen to make dinner.

The girl slumped into her chair before reluctantly pulling out her homework, rather than taking a nap like she wanted to. She didn't want to give the teachers or Counselor Tater Tot any more ammunition to use against her. It appeared to be in her best interest to at least try to keep up in school. Even though she could barely focus on the math book in front of her, the girl wrote down the answers to the necessary questions, not bothering to check her work or if she even understood the questions.

She was able to finish just in time for her mother to call up the stairs that the food was ready. The girl hadn't even realized that so much time had passed. She stretched as she stood up, her back popping with satisfying cracks, then made her way to her bedroom door. She went to push it open and about had a panic attack, flashing back to her previous struggles with doors not opening, before remembering that she had to pull it.

Sighing and shaking her head at herself, the girl made her way down the stairs and to the dining room where her mother was just finishing setting out her plate, the food already waiting on the table.

"Eat up."