Hailsmith Academy

Chapter 18: No connection

Monday came by in it's usual looming doom. I woke Spencer up and dragged him down to breakfast, but I let Oliver sleep. He didn't have any reason to wake up so early, and he must be tired from traveling yesterday.

Chemistry class went by fine, but history was the worst. I had to walk in there and face my brother for the first time since I saw him with Jackie. Our eyes only met for a brief second. I'm pretty sure I imagined it, but for a small moment, he almost looked guilty. Maybe even ashamed. It vanished as quickly as it came, returning to his usual nonchalant expression.

I managed to make it to lunch, keeping my eyes only on the ground in front of me, so I wouldn't run into anyone else I didn't want to see. I got my food and sat down with my friends, surprised to see Oliver there too.

"Hey? I didn't think you'd be up yet." I told him. He shrugged. "I'm not much of a heavy sleeper."

We all ate lunch together, and then I headed off with Oliver since I had a free period before English. I was going to have to see Evans in that class now, and I completely dreading it.

We walked around campus together, and I showed him a few places I didn't get to show him the first time around. We'd been walking around for about half an hour, when we came around the entrance to the music room.

"Woah, this place looks sick!" Oliver spoke as he walked inside. I hesitated by the door though. I wasn't sure I wanted to be back in the place that held so many memories with Jackie. No, I can't get hung up on this kind of thing. I have to get over her.

So, I steadied myself and followed him inside. It looked exactly like I remembered it, except for some instruments being in the front of the room. Must be from band practice.

"You literally have the coolest school ever."

I laughed a little, sitting down on a stool as Oliver marveled over all the instruments. "Yeah, I guess so."

"The high school back home cheaps out on everything. It's so annoying."

We sat there for a while, talking about his school experiences back home that he hadn't told me over the phone yet. Then I realised I had English starting in ten minutes, so I stood up.

"I've got a class soon. I should-"

I froze.

Standing at the door, was Jackie Sanders herself. She looked even prettier than usual today, with her hair tied up in a loose braid. She wasn't wearing her uniform, and instead wore a short grey skirt and a black top. I wanted to kill myself.

"Hi." She spoke. I couldn't believe this.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, trying to keep my voice as neutral as possible. I didn't want her to know how I was feeling.

"I hoped I would find you here. I need to talk to you."

"Uh, Luke who's this?" Oliver asked in confusion. Only then did I realise he's never actually seen her before. I gave him a look, hopefully indicating who she was. Luckily, he seemed to understand.

"I have nothing to say to you." I told Jackie.

"Luke, please. I know I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I just want to explain."

I stayed silent, looking towards Oliver for some help. He looked a little pissed off at seeing Jackie, but he simply shrugged, walking out of the room to give us space. He glared at her as he left.

Jackie tried to speak again. "Luke, I am so sorry."

I turned away from her. It hurt too much to even look at her face. I was afraid that if I looked her in the eye, I would break down.

"Stop. I don't want to hear it."

I heard her shuffle across the floor, moving closer to me cautiously. "I know what I did was...wrong. I just wanted to tell you that it had nothing to do with you. You really are an incredible person."

I wanted to scream. Who the hell says such things? Just being near her, close enough to smell her perfume and hear her voice, was enough to make me lose it.

"Stop."

"I just-"

I finally turned around, giving her the harshest look I could muster. She faltered, her expression full of guilt and hesitation.

"I feel like I owe you an explanation." she continued. "It had nothing to do with you, but more about the way I felt."

She waited for me to respond, but when I didn't say anything she went on.

"It's just that, we never really uh- well... did much physically. You really are an amazing boyfriend in every other way, don't get me wrong. I don't know, a girl just has- needs, I guess. With Jason it was just physical. There was no connection there. But with you...I really did have one. I-"

"Shut. The fuck. UP!"

She stopped, startled by the way I had spoken. I couldn't take it anymore. I felt something within me snap, as I took out every bit of pent up anger I had on her.

"Who the hell do you think you are? You think you can just play with people's feelings over your own whim and fancy? What the fuck is wrong with you?"

She looked absolutely stunned, shaking a little as tears ran down her face. I didn't care though. I didn't care at all.

"Your justification over cheating on me, is simply just that you wanted that? Jackie, if you have an issue that you can't get over, you bloody end the relationship or talk about it. You don't go around doing shit with my fucking brother."

She was full blown crying now. "Luke, I'm so sorry-"

"SHUT YOUR MOUTH!"

I was screaming now. Screaming like I hadn't ever felt rage before. I hate her. I hate her so much, that it physically hurts to be in the same room as her.

"YOU CHEATED ON ME! YOU ARE A CRUEL, HEARTLESS, AWFUL PERSON WHO DESERVES HELL. NOTHING YOU SAY OR DO, WILL EVER JUSTIFY IT, SO DON'T EVER FUCKING TRY AGAIN. GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FACE!"

I was breathing heavily after that, having yelled loud enough for the entire floor to hear me. She turned around and ran out, too afraid to speak another word.

I gasped as I dropped to my knees, all of my energy fading away. Oh god, I can't believe I'd actually done that. I didn't even realise I was this angry until I saw her. I nearly felt like I couldn't breathe as I thought about it.

I felt the tears well up behind my eyes and I let it out, unable to keep it in anymore. I completely broke down, right there on the floor of the music room.

I heard footsteps, looking up to see Oliver walk back in. He must have heard everything. His expression however, was unreadable. He sat down next to me, holding me in his arms as I wept.

I don't know how long I cried for, but it felt like hours. Oliver sat there with me the entire time, never wavering. I just wanted to stop feeling like this. I'd give anything for the pain to go away. I just needed it to stop.

Every single time I saw her face, all I could see was her betrayal. Everything I thought I knew about her was wrong. I used to believe she was the kindest, most beautiful hearted person I'd ever have the luck of meeting. It broke me to know I was wrong.

I let out everything I felt in that moment. All my anger, my pain, my sadness. Everything.

I let it all out.