Wishes

Chapter Three

Mom, Dad and I sat around our oversized dining room table.
I was an only child. My mother had three miscarriages after me. If all had gone well I would have had two brothers and a sister. The only child that partially made it was the girl. She was alive for ten minutes after her birth and then she was taken from us. 
I feel bad for my parents. First they had me who ended up being a Diabetic, and they had to change and adapt to my lifestyle completely. Then, they had not one but three miscarriages.
It just felt like it was all my fault. I mean, I was diagnosed when I was two so it had to of broken their hearts to shove needles into my arms and legs and my belly.

"Mom, I'm finished," I spoke, shoving my plate away from me.

"Leah, You barely ate any of your dinner," My dad looked at me.

"I'm sorry, I'm just not hungry," I shrugged.

"Fine, but don't come to me complaining you are hungry," My mom told me sternly.

Trust me I won't. I hated eating. Eating made me feel fat and ugly. I had a love and hate relationship with my body. Plus I had eaten food at Kyle's.
I walked downstairs, to where my bedroom was. I moved down here three years ago. My walls were a light blue colour that I had a strange obsession with. I had posters covering one full wall. They were One Direction posters. I loved them. So much I cannot even express my love for them. I hung a curtain every time my friends came over so they didn't find out about my liking for these five beautiful British boys. 

I sat down on my bed and pulled out my silver laptop that I stashed under my covers last night. 

I was a loner as you may call it. My friends had ditched me for the popular kids. I think part of the reason was my Diabetes. That's why I grew such hatred for Kenzie. She was always making fun of me and making jokes about how I do my needles and such. I zoned her out once it was my turn to finally get an insulin pump. 

She used to poke me. Everyday she'd poke me. I'd say ouch. Then she would say in a bitchy way, "Oh did you do your needle there?".

Ugh it made me so mad. I'm actually sort of glad she moved to Florida.
Kyle was the only one there for me during that. And he agreed with me that she was annoying and depressing as hell. She always had something rude to say or she embarrassed you in front of your crush. It really sucked.
That's when I suddenly found myself being sad everyday. At one point, I was so sad, I had these thoughts. These horrible, horrible thoughts of suicide and taking my own life. 
But Kyle helped me. I still don't know how exactly he did it.
But somehow he managed to talk me out of this dark place and persuaded me that I was worth it.
I didn't think it was right. Kyle texting me all day and saying really nice and cute things to me, but also dating Kenzie at the same time.
I cried. Because I felt like I had come between their relationship. It felt horrible.