Sam and Colby: The Amusement Park

• Chapter Twenty-one •

"Yeah, we can," She nodded after a moment, stepping foot onto the wood chips that littered the floor of the play area, her shoulder briefly brushing his as they walked over to the swing set. "Let's talk."

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The rusty metal chains screeched as the two friends sat down on the thin, plastic swings, a slight silence settling over them as the girl kicked her feet back and forth, letting the boy think for a second as she let her feet dangle over the wood chips below.

Colby took a second to collect his thoughts, making sure that he formulated his words correctly to convey exactly what he had been thinking about since the night before. He looked over at Andi, his eyes running over her features as his heart squeezed a little bit. The freckles across her nose were starting to show a bit more from being out in the sun, and her bright blonde hair fluttered behind her like wisps of wind dancing against the blue sky. He swore right then and there that she was the most beautiful girl that he had ever laid eyes on.

"Okay, I'd just like to start off by saying that I'm a total ass hat and I'm an idiot for saying those things," Colby said, attempting to lighten the air a little bit before he had to pour his heart out to her.

"I totally agree with that statement," Andi nodded, the right side of her mouth quirky up just ever so slightly.

"And you have all the rights to hate my guts and beat my ass if you want to," He continued, a small feeling of warmth in his chest as her mouth quirked up ever so slightly. He knew that that was her tell. That she wasn't completely pissed at him.

"I'm definitely going to hold you to that," She said, waiting patiently for him to continue as she traced her fingers over the rusty chain that held her swing suspended in the air.

Colby nodded and took a deep breath in, his fingers moving to subconsciously twist his rings around his fingers as he struggled to phrase his words. He had been constantly thinking about this very conversation all last night, and he had found no trouble talking to Sam about it earlier, but for some reason, his mouth now went dry every time he tried to speak.

"I'm sorry," He started, his voice tight as he looked away from her. "For the whole blow-up. I just.. I was so scared, Andi. What we do.. it's not exactly the safest thing, and I know that you know that, it's just that me and the guys have experienced the terrifying and dangerous shit firsthand, and you haven't been there for it. I know how much they can handle, but I don't know how much you can, and it's not that I doubt you, but it just makes me scared for you. I'm not worried for them because they've been in all of these situations before. But you haven't and I just- I heard you scream and my heart just sunk and I was so fucking scared that something had happened to you."

Andi's eyes softened as he spoke, and she wished that would look at her while he was talking. She had been pissed when he had blown up on her, and she still wanted answers, but she didn't want him to feel like this when he was giving them to her. She looked over at him and slowly reached out, gently placing a hand on his anxious ones for reassurance. He looked down at her hand and then back up at her and continued.

"I really thought that something had happened and that I had lost you again," He said, his voice quiet as he explained. "I was so fucking terrified of something happening to you, and when you came running over it's like it finally hit me that I actually could have actually lost you again and I wouldn't have been able to do anything about it, and that scared the shit out of me. I couldn't lose you again. I can't lose you, Andi."

"And then it also hit me that it would have been my fault if something had happened to you," The blue-haired boy continued shakily. "I was the one that brought you here, and if something happens it's on my head because I didn't think about how much danger you could be in when we asked you to come. And don't get me wrong, I love you being here and doing this with us, but in that moment it just scared the shit out of me, and my brain just automatically resorted to trying to push you out. Not because I wanted to hurt you, but because I didn't want you to get hurt by being there. I didn't want to say all of that shit, and I feel fucking horrible that I did, but in my mind, I thought that if you got pissed off enough you would leave and then you wouldn't be in harm's way anymore. You would be safe, even if you were pissed at me."