Twenty-Two (H.S)

Chapter 49

....Ember's POV...

The moment I woke up everything that had happened last night come flooding back into my head, I couldn't believe it...

I was no longer a virgin.

I didn't really know how to process it yet. For years it was something that seemed so far off, a distant thing I would experience eventually but then when the normalcy of teenage life was taken away from me at the age of 16 and I was thrust into the more mature role of guardian and provider I didn't have any time to explore that side of me, I had shut it away, the door remained closed.

Until now.

Of course being both physically and emotionally attracted to H had helped me take a peek behind that metaphorical door but last night the door flew open, the hinges were blown off and it can't ever be closed again. 

But I didn't care.

I love H and he loves me. I'm happy we had sex even if it was a little painful at first it still felt good, and not the the 'sex is great' way but the fact that we were each others person, there was that connection there I wouldn't have felt with some random guy on a one night stand and that was the best feeling ever. 

I'm sure H has had better times than last night though, I could tell he was holding back for my sake and I'm grateful for that but hopefully next time will be better for him. He was still asleep with his head buried in the crook of my neck, his warm breath fanning out against my bare skin. I didn't want to wake him but the feeling of my full bladder was getting a little too much so I really had to use the bathroom. I managed to slowly free myself from his grip and take care of my business. Afterwards I quickly brushed my teeth and washed my face and then pulled on a random black Adidas tracksuit I found in the bottom of H's draws that I'd never actually seen him wear before but it looked comfy so I was stealing it for the day.  

I snuck out of the hut, not that I was really sneaking but it was still pretty early and technically H was still recovering from his fight so he needed the rest. The air was surprisingly warm which I was happy about, summer was around the corner and I couldn't wait for the warmer weather. 

There was only a handful of people dotted around the tables in the mess hall which wasn't surprising for the early hour, what was however was the one person I didn't expect to see, at least not this side of midday. 

"Hey' I greeted taking my usual seat at our table which admittedly felt a little odd seeing as only one other seat was occupied and usually the whole table would be a hive of activity and loud, especially when Nate was here. 

"Morning" Jax greeted me with a short smile. He had a mug in front of him but it looked like whatever liquid once filled the mug had long since gone cold. 

"Didn't expect to see you awake this early" I admitted honestly. 

"Haven't been to sleep yet" He shrugged. Oh. "I got Luke to sleep, he was pretty wasted and I couldn't sleep so came here for some tea. How come you're awake so early? And where's H?"

"Well I actually had to pee and didn't want to wake H, he's still sleeping" Jax nodded in response and looked like he was about to say something but stopped himself. 'I'm sorry for what I said the other day, I shouldn't have yelled at you"

"You were upset, it's fine" 

"It's no excuse, you've been nothing but kind to me since I got here and I yelled at you and said it was your fault when we both know it's not, there's nothing either of us could've done. I was just scared" I admitted and suddenly I could feel the tears brimming in my eyes, Jax must've noticed too because in a matter of seconds he'd moved from the opposites side of the table and he now sat with his arm over my shoulder.