Stop, look, listen to your heart.

Part 24

(Grans words) Part 2 of 2

We got to the hospital and they rushed Dontae into a room, I tried to go with him I was stopped, I told the lady I'm his husband, she told me it would be better if I let them do their job, a cop came and asked me more questions my mind was on Dontae, but I answered his questions as best I could, he asked is there anyone he could call for me, damn I forgot to call mom, I told him I'll call his mom, he gave me his card and said he'll be in touch.

I called mom the phone rang three times, she said if I'm calling this late something is wrong, I told her what happened, mom said oh God no, am I okay, I told her yes just scared, mom told me she's on her way. I hung up and called gran, and told her too, she asked am I alright, I told her I'm Okay just scared for Dontae, she said she's on her way just pray. 

Gran hung up, I looked at myself and had my husband's blood all over me, I couldn't sit down I just walked the floor waiting to hear something about Dontae, gran and mom Donna arrived at the same time, they asked any word on Dontae, I said not yet, and I'm scared, gran hugged me.

 I told mom it's my fault we shouldn't have gone to Cloverdale, there are other clubs we could've went to that were safe, she said if Dontae didn't want to go there, he wouldn't have gone, so stop blaming myself it's the person who shot her son that's responsible for this, she hugged me and said all we can do is pray and wait.

I asked her did she call DJ, she said he's catching a flight in the morning, I said God please let Dontae live, gran took our hands and started praying.

Someone came out and asked is there someone here with Dontae Williams, I said he's my husband, he said he's sorry they did all they could his chest was torn apart, again he's sorry, I screamed no he can't be gone, mom and I cried, I told the man I want to see him, he said give them a few more minutes and we can go back there.

Gran Dontae is dead, she hugged me and said God wanted him, I told her what kind of God would take a husband away so soon, we haven't even been married a year, gran said she can't explain why, just know he's in a better place. I told her she doesn't know that people say God hates people like us, she said he loves everyone, I told her that I will never believe.

 We were taken in the back and bae looked so peaceful, I told him this is my fault that he's gone, we should've just stayed home, none of this would've have happened, I'll never forgive myself for this. We left and gran said neither of us should be alone, come home with her, mom said just for now, I told gran I want to be alone I'll be alright, she said no I won't I need to be with family, I took off running, I could hear grans voice saying come back, but I kept on running.

 I ended up at Forsyth Park and sat on a bench thinking about Dontae I broke down and cried, I looked up and said God why didn't you take me, Dontae had so much to live for, people were looking at me, I realized I'm covered in blood, I got up and walked home. When I got there, grans car is in the driveway, I walked into the house, she said she knew sooner or later I'd come home. She told me to get those bloody clothes off and lay down, she'll get me something to help me sleep, I just went upstairs into our room, I walked into the bathroom and looked at myself with Dontae's blood all over me, I took my clothes off and got into the shower I sat down and cried, and I screamed no. Gran knocked on the door, she asked am I okay, I told her no, my husband is dead.

I got up and washed the blood off of me and stepped out of the shower, I put Dontae's robe on and walked into the bedroom, gran told me to take this sleeping pill it will help me sleep, I laid down and looked on the other side of the bed, but Dontae wasn't there. I cried and gran held me, I just kept saying why would God take him why gran.

 Baby, I can't answer that, you have to have faith that Dontae is with the lord now, just know that he loved you, he would smile every time he said your name, Sasha said he loved him so much he doesn't think he can live without him. I told him listen to me, Dontae wouldn't want him to ever give up, and I'm not letting him either, now try and rest, I rocked him to sleep like I did when he was just a child.