Broken Butterfly

what have I become

Natalia's Pov

How are you feeling today, Natalia? she asked nervously while tapping the pen against her notepad. She was nervous, and I could smell her fear; she had all right to be afraid; the only thing preventing me from ripping her throat out was the fact they made sure to handcuff me to this chair; who could blame them? I guess they got tired of cleaning up the mess I created when I killed the last two nosey bitches they sent in here to try and pry into my brain, I wasn't always like this, I was a kind and loving girl who hated hurting anyone or anything, they created this monster, and now they all will pay.

I stared right into her eyes, it was filled with pity, fear, and empathy, what are your thoughts, she asked me again, this time I opened my mouth but nothing came out, I wanted to let her in, tell her I don't want to be this monster anymore, I want to go back to my life, the life where I retched at the scent of blood, now I enjoy seeing people bleed, I enjoy seeing these monsters hurt, like they hurt me every day, I've been here for two years, two years of nothing but torture, they inject me with chemicals that suppress my wolf, I lost contact with her a week after getting here, she was the last piece of my old life I had left, and when they took her they took the last piece of sanity I had, they drug me and sedate me, lock me up in those awful white rooms, the only thing good they do here is feed me, but I'm hardly awake to eat, the only time I'm awake is when they send these nosey therapist here to try
and get information, I know what they want, but I'll never forget my mother's dying words, " trust no one Lia' never let them know what you can do" and I've kept that promise up to this day, Natalia can you hear me she said with a more concerned tone, I looked up at her and started laughing, If she only knew the powers I possessed, I could easily kill her without lifting a finger, but that would expose who I am and what I am capable of doing, I continued laughing for about 5 minutes, then I went silent , right when she wasn't expecting it, I yelled BOO! causing her to fall out the chair, I started laughing again, getting louder this time soon my laughter was bouncing off the walls, she pressed the button alerting the guards she was done for the day, as soon as the doors opened she ran out so fast  almost pushing a guard over, two muscular guards, followed by the evil asshole who calls himself Doctor, he was the devil himself.

"well hello Natalia", he greeted me, I spat in his face, "that wasn't a nice thing to do bitch he said through gritted teeth before slapping me across my face causing the metallic taste of blood to fill my mouth, fuck you I yelled before he injected me, My vision was now blurry, and I was now weak, falling further and further into unconsciousness by the second, I felt when one of the guards remove the chains from my hands and placed me in a wheelchair, I knew what was next they would take me back to my room where they would lock me up like their little pet, I would welcome darkness and sleep for two days, wake up try to eat with the little energy I would have, then they would, chain me up and and force me to shower, this  was the cycle of my life , this was who I was now, I could easily set this place on fire, but they would only come after me, I had to keep my promise to my mother, and with that last thought I allowed darkness to pull me in.

Two Days Later

I slowly opened my eyes so they could adjust  to the bright light after being closed for two days , it was two days since that maniac sedated me, I laid in bed not moving, hoping to not alert the nurse on duty that I was awake, the rooms had cameras and motion sensors, once I move and they were  alerted they would come in feed me then sedate me, some days I fall asleep before I can even  finish my meal,I laid there staring at the white ceiling for about another hour, not moving, I would have stayed like that the rest of day if I didn't have the urge to use the restroom, I reluctantly got out of the small twin bed they gave to us, and made my way to the bathroom, where I brushed my teeth and washed my face, I stepped out the bathroom to be greeted by Favorite, she was the only one who could come inside my room without Guards, or sedating me, she was kind to me, she was older and reminded me of my own mother, she was also one of the few wolves that works here, whenever she worked I was able to eat, and shower without, being medicated, she found out I loved to paint, after she would make her rounds with the other patients she would always , bring me supplies so I could paint for an hour, she couldn't leave me with the brushes and paints, but she always allowed me to keep whatever I painted.

Good Morning Natalia, How are you today Darling, I'm fine I said above a whisper, my voice was hoarse and raspy,my throat was dry, she must have realized, because she then sat the tray she was carrying down on the table next to my bed, then poured and handed me a glass of water, I took the water and gulped it down, the cold water felt amazing going down my parched throat, I motioned for her to pour me some more, after my third glass of water, my thirst was finally quenched, causing Sandy to laugh, " someone was really thirsty she said" while handing me the tray of food, it had bacon, pancakes, eggs, fruits and orange juice, she turned around to get the fork, but I was already attacking the food with my hands,I was starved, as Sandy only volunteers here two times a week, so I'm only awake long enough to enjoy a full meal two times a week, Once I was finished eating, and cleaned up, Sandy made me shower, then she brought me supplies so I could Paint, today I painted a black wolf with hazel eyes, he was standing on a hill howling at the moon, he was beautiful, I never know what I'm painting, usually I go into a trance allowing my subconscious  to control me, this was the second time painting this wolf, maybe he is my mate, I laugh at the thought, he would reject me the instance he found me, and I wouldn't even be angry at him, what would he do with a nutcase like me, a monster like me, but a small part, of me wanted him to save me, love me, just maybe I could be saved,I was brought out of ridiculous internal rant, when Sandy told me she had to sedate me as her shift was ending. I nodded, and handed her the painting, "you can have this one, I already have one taped above my bed, I said while handing her the painting of the wolf, " thank you Natalia, she said with tears in her eyes, she cried every time she had to sedate me or leave, she handed me the pills along with a cup of water, she never injects me and for that I was always grateful and , I swallowed the pills then opened my mouth and stuck out my tongue to show her I swallowed them, she then gave me a hug, I laid on the bed and she pulled the blanket over me, Good Night Natalia, see you in two days, she said before closing the door, I laid there for about another 10 minutes trying to fight to stay awake, but I lost that battle and was pulled into the darkness, see you again world in two days.