Broken Butterfly

The unexpected

Natalia Pov

After Kylo left, I laid in bed, thinking about everything that happened today, from him showing up with Doc. Jones, to me hurting him, to him telling me he was the wolf in my paintings, to him being my mate, it was too much for me to process, I felt overwhelmed, today was one of those nights I wish I was sedated, so I wouldn't have to think about any of it, the more I thought about it the more I felt like my throat was closing up, I was struggling to breathe, My heart felt like it was about to pop out my chest, I felt like I was drowning, It was too much pressure, I started to dig my nails into my skin, I needed a release, I need to release all this pressure, so I dug my nails deeper into my skin until I felt the warm liquid coat my fingers and the aroma of my blood filling the air, my breathing steadied and my heart rate slowly returned to normal, but my hands were filled with cuts, I didn't even care to clean the blood off, I just pulled the blanket over my head, rolled on my side, I always feel drained after a panic attack, right now all I wanted to do was sleep,this was the first time in a long time , I was going to sleep on my own.

I woke up to a banging on my door, I already knew who it was, it was that stupid nurse with breakfast, she was scared of me , so she usually bangs the door until I got up then hands me the food tray through the food slot in the door, I reluctantly rolled out of bed and made my way to snatch the food tray, I then growled at her , causing her to flinch and run, I placed the food tray on the table, then made my way to the bathroom, to do my morning routine, once I was finished, I made my way to the table to eat breakfast, now that I wasn't always asleep, I realized I had a lot of free time, I wished I had stuff to paint in my room, I would be able to use them, I could just use my magic to create some, but they are always watching me and I can't let them know,I could ask Sandy to leave the ones she bought me in the room, I feel like I'm going crazy, I wonder if Kylo can convince Doctor to let me get some sun, I was lost in thoughts, when someone tapped the glass on my door, I looked up to see a very handsome Kylo, I didn't really get the chance to admire him yesterday, He was handsome, he wore a black v neck t shirt that hugged his muscles, his tan complexion, was decorated with tattoos, his chiseled Jawline and very kissable lips, he had his hair up in a man bun, with the sides saved low, his hazel eyes met mine and he then smiled at me exposing his pearly white teeth, he was perfect, and I was a monster, I took a deep breath before I opened the door to let him in.

"Good Morning Sunshine, he said while handing me a bag "Good morning I replied barely above a whisper, I took the bag, and looked inside, it was a phone, "thank you,

"Now you can call or text me whenever you want, or you can watch movies, or listen to music, you wont be so bored anymore, "

"so what do you want to do today, he asked, I want to go outside, I haven't been outside since I got here,

"okay I'll talk to Robert and if we can go outside some day this week okay,

"what happened to your hand, he growled, I quicky covered my hand with the blanket, and replied nothing happened to it, I had an accident I mumbled, "

"who did that to you , no one I yelled before running in the bathroom and locking the door, I curled up in a ball on the floor, just letting the tears run down my cheek, how could I tell him I did that to myself, he would think I was crazy like everyone else, usually I wouldn't care what anyone else thinks, but with him its different, he makes me want to be better and be a better person, must be that stupid mate bond,

"please Natalia, I'm sorry for yelling at you, just please come out and talk to me"

I got up off the floor and washed my tear stained face, before I opened the door, I was greeted by very apologetic hazel eyes, I pushed past him and sat back down on the bed, where he sat next to me, we sat in awkward silence

"I did that to myself, It's how I cope when I have a panic attack , it helps to release the pressure, I usually don't let anyone in, this is the most I have spoken since I've been here, but with you Kylo, I feel things I've never felt before, you make me want to be better, but when you leave and I'm stuck here , and the walls feel like they are closing in on me, I feel like I'm drowning, and I have to feel pain to pull me back to reality, please don't think I'm insane like everyone else, I was rambling on, He took my hand, then used his fingers to trace over my cuts, "I will never think you're insane, I just hate that you hurt yourself, I couldn't sleep last night, after I tell you this you might think I'm crazy, I slept in the parking lot until 6 am then I went back to my pack for training, "I laughed, at the fact that he slept in the parking lot,it was a genuine happy laugh, you could have snuck in here, I would have let you in, 'how, don't they lock the doors at night, I have my ways, I said trying not to let him no about my magic yet, I will tell him one day, just not now, I have to be sure he's really my mate.

He helped me to set up my new phone, and saved his number and Sandy's number, he told me to facetime him when I couldn't sleep, the day went by,we talked about every and anything, soon it was time for our good byes, he was about to go through the door when I yelled for him to wait, I went into my draw, and pulled out one of my shirts and gave it to him, "I remember when I was younger and my dad would leave for Alpha duties, he would leave my mom with his shirt and it would comfort her, so now I want to do the same for you, that way you don't have to sleep in the parking lot, 'thank you so much Natalia, he said while taking the shirt and inhaling it, he then took off his shirt and handed it to me, I did the same, it smelt like sandalwood and rainforest," can I get a hug. he asked, I nodded, "he hugged me and I stood there stiff as a piece of wood" he bid me Good night one more time before he reluctantly closed the door.

I got in bed and cover myself under the blanket with my phone in one hand and Kylo's shirt in the next, inhaling his scents calms me down,relaxes me, I laid there, playing a game of candy crush on my phone when I got a text message from Kylo, "I made it home, and I miss you so much. "

I texted him back, okay, I didn't know how to show emotions anymore, I really wanted to tell him I miss him too,but I couldn't bring myself to text that , Good Night Kylo.